She has left me.. and I'm lost

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She has left me.. and I'm lost

Postby Adamras on Thu Nov 15, 2012 8:46 pm

Good evening everyone.

I appreciate my subject is rather dramatic but I can't help it as I type this tears are streaming down my face.
I'd like to first say that I am a recovering WoW addict. I have been on the proverbial wagon for 4 months now. The reason for my leaving the game... her expressions of not being on love with me anymore. When she said those words I KNEW that this game was had a significant but admittedly not definitive cause of the problems we were having and I did not want it anymore. I quit the game without any hesitation. The next day I went to a psychologist... by myself as she didn't want to work on "us". I have been seeing psychologist for 4 months now.

She left me, moved to another country and has moved in with another man. Now, she plays all day long. Everyday. Constantly. I realize now, that she had been 'stepping out' for some time with this other guy and this allowed a safety net for her to fall into when she decided to leave me.

I am lost and I don't know what to do. I feel as her husband and as a person who has 'seen the light' I need to do something. I feel like she's lost and she's been consumed by this monster. She doesn't believe she has a problem. She doesn't want to talk to me anymore. She is living her dream of playing this game. As an addict she needs to see that it's a problem. I can't tell her. In fact, me telling her may have the opposite effect.

I want my wife back and I am so afraid that she is gone. Too far gone. We enabled each other and that has resulted in the failure of our marriage. I am devastated. I feel guilt, shame, embarrassment and helplessness. I am looking for some support. For something. For anything. Thank you for reading this.

I love you, honey. I miss you more than simple words can express. Come back to us. Come back to the love we once had. I forgive you. I accept you. I am here to be with you for the rest of our lives.
Adamras
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Re: She has left me.. and I'm lost

Postby Jonathan on Wed Nov 21, 2012 2:03 am

Dear Adamras,
I have to say it was difficult to read your post because I lived through the exact same thing over 3 years ago. Although my wife left me for a 19 year old boy, the situation was the same. We were hard core raider/gamers with WOW and my wife and I had that and so much more in common but the addiction was more powerful. When bills and debt began crushing us and our 8 kids, I gave up the game for a second job and realized how much of our life was sitting at a computer... she left me within 5 months for the gamer/kid who understood her.

If your wife is like mine, the reality of her situation will not sink in and no amount of talking or begging will convince her otherwise. Focus on yourself and you will get through this. I know that it seems like a bad episode of Jerry Springer and this can't be happening but it is. I know that you want her to wake up to come home but she won't. It's not your fault. Gaming is addictive as any drug out there and you can see that..... but she can't. She is being enabled by the older guy and that is her reality now. You aren't.

Not only are you dealing with the lost of your WOW connection that you and your wife had together but now the loss of your wife and that's a difficult thing for any person. Spend time with friends and family and be patient. You can get through this and you will be better and stronger when you look back at this.

Be strong and understand that there are a lot of us who have been there and survived and you can too.
God Bless,
Jonathan
CLIMBING OUT OF THE HELL THAT BECAME MY LIFE...
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Jonathan
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Re: She has left me.. and I'm lost

Postby ginabean on Wed Nov 28, 2012 8:44 pm

Dear person

Tears were streaming down my face too when reading your story - I guess it's really close to the bone for most of us. All you can do is live your life the ebst possible way and try to make a difference in one person's life every day, take joy in small things.

Thinking of you
ginabean
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