Am I a Gamer Widow??

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Am I a Gamer Widow??

Postby dueturself on Thu Mar 28, 2013 7:58 pm

I found this site by searching "computer widow". After reading some of the stories, I'm thankful my situation isn't as bad as some of the ones I've read, but I'm still feeling pretty crummy. I recently married a wonderful man, and *after* marrying I learned of his love for gaming. Prior to marrying, he told me he plays every Tuesday night with the guys, which I thought was fine - we all need our hobbies and alone time! Well, after moving in together, I learned the whole family loves gaming, and so much for only Tuesdays; my new husband plays about 2 hours every night. I moved to where my husband lives (in another state) because he has primary custody of school age children; I don't have any children. I've not yet made friends in the area, and I don't even know the area very well! I don't like to watch TV every night, and if we have nothing planned outside of the house, he's right away downstairs gaming. I've gotten used to just reading quietly and going to bed, but quite honestly, I was more at peace with that habit when I was single and living alone, then now when I'm married. I mean heck - what did i get married for? There have been times when I've asked him to not play - can we do something else I ask? He quickly asks "Well, what do you want to do?" If I knew the area, maybe I'd have a suggestion, but again - I'm new here and don't yet know what's available. When I don't come up with something, the conversation fizzles and he's back downstairs gaming. Like now ... that's where he is. This is getting really old, really quick. Bleck.
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Re: Am I a Gamer Widow??

Postby ginabean on Tue Apr 02, 2013 7:53 pm

HI and welsome

Sounds like you may still have some power in this situation - you are going to have to take ownership now before this becomes entrenched as part of your "normal" rountine - get online and have a look for things to do in your local area - see if you can find something that takes his interests into account, get dressed up and drag him out by the ear if you have to. make it ABSOLUTELY clear, right now, that you will not come second to a computer game. I left my situation for too long, telling myself that he's entitled to have fun and enjoy himself... do it right now, you'll probably have a helluva fight, but better out than in, and wandering round your own home like a ghost is not living. Don't even try to kid yourself it is. Hang in there.
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Re: Am I a Gamer Widow??

Postby Faeril on Thu Apr 04, 2013 12:54 pm

:welcome

I agree with ginabean. My significant other is similar with the playing every night. He's not as bad right now though since he helps me watch the baby in the evening so I can work from home. He's actually more of a casual gamer so has never been too bad, but there have been times with certain releases that he'll play hours at a time. However, I'm usually aware of that so prepare. :lol

Luckily, most of the time if I say I'd like to watch a movie together or do something he'll listen and take a break. It sounds like you may still be at that point. I probably would be frustrated too with being new to the area and him knowing it and not helping with suggestions for something to do, but ginabean has a great idea about researching the area yourself, taking his own interests in account and just getting dressed and ready to go! If he doesn't protest then things may still not be at a head yet, and hopefully they won't be.

If you do try that, let us know how things go! Again, welcome to the forums!
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Re: Am I a Gamer Widow??

Postby saltychip on Sat Apr 06, 2013 9:21 pm

2hrs a night seems manageable just see what you would like him to do to make you feel appreciated as well if hes going to be gaming that often. Get a list or something of what you both expect of each other and go from there maybe ;)
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