hiii

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hiii

Postby jayelle08 on Sun Jun 16, 2013 11:20 pm

I can't believe I *JUST* found out about this site!!

My husband gradually brought this gaming thing into our lives. First it was Heroes of Newerth (or something like that), then WoW, and now he is addicted to Ultima Online... He used to play just a little, but now he plays every waking hour. The only times he stops is for food, bathroom breaks and smoke breaks. He tries to justify it by saying that his accounts are worth however much money, but I doubt he's going to want to sell them and start all over.

So to "spend time together", I sit around all day watching TV and playing iPad games. He argues that I'm just as addicted to those games as he is to his, but if I had the option of hanging out with real people, face-to-face, or playing iPad games, I would pick people. I mean, is that an actual question??? That shouldn't even be a dilemma!

Anyway, I'm really glad I found this site and know that I'm not alone in this! :sad
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Re: hiii

Postby laroo on Tue Jun 18, 2013 12:02 pm

:welcome
Hi Jayelle, welcome to the GamerWidow forum!

I was coming in second to a video game (WoW) for years when I found this site. Nearly brought us to divorce. One thing I did learn is that there were much deeper issues in my marriage than just the game. While the game has mostly gone by the wayside for my wife, the struggle continues to repair our damaged relationship. It took years to wreck it, so I shouldn't be surprised when it takes years to repair I guess. Still sucks though!

:desk

There are some great folks on this site, ready to share their experience. Stick around, because you're not alone out there, even if it feels like it most days (we know that feeling all too well!)

And remember to take care of you,
Laroo
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Re: hiii

Postby AMNeSia on Wed Jun 26, 2013 3:05 am

Welcome to GamerWidow.

Gradually bringing gaming into life, eh? Sounds familiar.

I can't believe he actually says his accounts are worth however much money. I mean...humans treat money equal to or more than their own life...so, honestly, he finds the games more than his life? Unbelievable. Been in the same situation, though what I felt was different and I didn't enjoy putting something else above my life.

Yea, it may be simple, but for people like me, face-to-face vs computer games does become a dilemma...but then, I'm anti-social and such other aspects. Of course, everyone is different...can't compare.

You ever tried to talk to him about it? I mean, from what you wrote, I know you did, but talked to find out why he games so much? I used to (and, in a limit, still...) game to escape from my life's problems...Of course, now I'm striving to face them and going crazy at the same time, but better that than be addicted. Try to find out why he games so much.

As Laroo said, many people here with experience and they should help. Hope things turn out well for you soon. We're always here and this place is a home for all...whether to rant, to ask for or to provide solutions and support.
"Everything is relative and situational...all depends on your choices" - EiRaSAdoyC.
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Hello all

Postby TAW_Widow_2012 on Wed Aug 14, 2013 8:32 pm

Good evening, am not sure if I am posting correctly to this forum or not. I have never used a forum like this to post messages.

Am going to keep my post short and to the point. Does anyone have issues with the game 'The Art of Warfare or TAW"? My husband has been addicted since 2012 and I am just about going crazy. We have 4 children and they can stand a foot away from him saying "dad...dad.....dad" over and over and he will not pay attention to them. He ignores me unless I start an argument to get him off the game. He will excuse himself to the facilities and end up online w/ the game. There are days where I really do not mind his being on the computer, but there are times where I really need him to step it up and be a dad and husband. Am ready to cut the power cord to his computer mistress.
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Re: hiii

Postby ginabean on Sun Aug 18, 2013 6:08 am

Hey there. Welcome, and keep coming back, even if it's only to vent. I'm afraid there's no easy solution here to your Husbands obsession. What's been clear to me during the time I've been coming to this forum is that generally these games seem to be a band aid on a wound of some other description. That may be any number of things but you're probablybest placed to guess what his real issues may be. Another thing that's become apparent is that there may not be anything you can do and sacrificing yourself is not the answer. Make sure that you try to reclaim your life. You may want to consider drawing a few lines and insisting that he sits down for dinner with you and the kids. If he won't do that, make sure you don't make a plate up for him. It's a very small thing to ask.
My husband is hooked on a mobile device game called world war. This game has cost money, time and effort and he has multiple games on the laptop, iPhone, IPad, iPod. Due to emotional abuse issues for many years of our marriage IRS really hard for me to force a confrontation, but I've had about 7 complete meltdowns in the last couple of years due to his x-rated chats with other women on the forums. I'm seeing a counselor now, and trying to get a life, and ultimately equip myself to leave this relationship.
My thoughts are with you, comeback and tell us about your life and how you cope from day to day. :hug
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Re: hiii

Postby AMNeSia on Thu Oct 17, 2013 5:12 am

Welcome to GamerWidows, TAW Widow.

So...husband is playing 'The Art of War' and waging a war on his family life? Seriously messed up. A person who doesn't take care of their family is, in my opinion, not deserving to have them. Still...it's possible for people to improve. First, you have to argue with him to get him off. Second, his kids right there calling him and he ignores them. Really too much. In this case, I do suggest cutting the cord. Not all at once, though. First, try talking to him one last time. Tell him to decide if you real people who love him and care for him matter to him, or some pixels on a screen do.

If that doesn't work...then pull the cord off. No need to cut the cord and waste it, but rather, just take it and don't let him be a gamer before a husband and a dad. Most of the time, us gamers do need harsher measures to get us off our ass and jerk back to life.

Always the best wishes with you all. Hope things work out for you all and feel free to come here to vent, talk and ask for help.
"Everything is relative and situational...all depends on your choices" - EiRaSAdoyC.
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