Collectible miniatures & cards monopolize his time

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Collectible miniatures & cards monopolize his time

Postby Miriamoly on Sat Sep 12, 2009 10:51 pm

I have been married 15 years, three kids. Our first argument was because he lost track of time at the arcade and missed our date time in college, so I knew from the beginning that he enjoyed games. My husband runs his own successful business and does chores and spends some time with the kids. However, any "free" time is spent with his strategy games. He spends every evening and weekend making decks, carefully cutting out "proxy" cards that he's made at the copy center. When he's had his fill of Magic for a while, he's pain-stakingly painting his miniatures with tiny brushes and bottles of paint. We have a double closet full of well-organized bins of his collectible miniatures and cards. He goes out two nights a week to the local gaming store, including Saturday. Today was a beautiful day, so I proposed inviting some friends over to barbeque. His response?
Well, it's Saturday, so you know I need to leave at 6:00.
God forbid we take advantage of the last warm evening of the summer! I have many activities of my own, but I go out for two hours at a time, now and then, and when I'm home, I'm available to my family. My husband's actions have proven to me that he has no interest in my life and doing activities together, except the occasional comment about how he hasn't gotten any. Gee, wonder why? Guess Mage Knight doesn't turn a girl on.
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Re: Collectible miniatures & cards monopolize his time

Postby Tx72 on Thu Sep 17, 2009 4:13 pm

As a gamer and at one point Magic enthousiast (only playing rarely nowadays), I figured I could add my 2 cents here...

About his response concerning having company over, I can kind of relate. Once I have my mind set on how I'll be spending my day (even if that is by simply relaxing doing nothing), my first response to such a spontaneous proposal would probably be hesitant at best. If he's anything like me, he might respond better if you made such a suggestion a few days in advance. That way he has a chance to process the change in his routine, which he seems to be stuck in. If possible, perhaps you can slowly but surely introduce a little variation in his routine. Don't go overboard though, that could have adverse effects.

It's definitely a problem that he can't be bothered to pay any attention to his family. How does he respond if you suggest to do something with the kids and/or you? Also, what's his reaction when you call him out on the excessive amounts of time spent on his hobbies?
There is a slight plus side though, at least his his Magic/miniature obsession is not so bad that it's causing him to neglect his business.
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Re: Collectible miniatures & cards monopolize his time

Postby Miriamoly on Sat Nov 14, 2009 7:01 pm

@Tx72 -- it's funny that you mention the "change of plans" line of thinking, because it's usually the other way in our house. He proposes something different than the plan and I'm the one having a hard time changing gears without pouting (it's partially genetic).

I finally told him that the immutable Saturday night gaming was making me feel neglected, and HE suggested calendaring a date night on Saturdays, as well as officially calendaring gaming night. We went out for a lovely dinner last week, and tonight he's off to do battle.

I always say it's better than gambling, girls, or golf, but an obsession is an obsession.

FYI, just read Fantasy Freaks and Gaming Geeks. Not sure if I feel better or worse!
xoxo--M
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Re: Collectible miniatures & cards monopolize his time

Postby Miriamoly on Tue Oct 05, 2010 10:07 pm

Update!

The date night calendaring has worked like a charm. :clap

Plus, I discovered a new obsession of my own, which has allowed me to better understand the "I want to do this right now" mentality.

Our marriage is in a much happier place than it was a year ago. Sisters, there is a happy ending! :hug
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Re: Collectible miniatures & cards monopolize his time

Postby Lyoness on Wed Oct 13, 2010 10:57 pm

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