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Hello...

Postby GamersFiancee on Mon Aug 26, 2013 9:20 pm

My name is Jessica and I am 29 years old.. *going to be -gags- 30 in October* and I am engaged to a wonderful man but this all started when he used to play WoW.. He wouldn't ignore me and we would do stuff and all even on raid nights but ever since Final Fantasy Online started back up a couple of days ago he's been on that ever since when he wasn't working.. he had yesterday off and I was here bored all day because he played that game.. sure he payed attention to me some when he took breaks but he's also been waking up early just to play that game and it's affecting my sleep too.
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Re: Hello...

Postby laroo on Tue Aug 27, 2013 5:20 pm

Hi GF,

If it's a problem, you should talk to him about it. You sound like reasonable people. Could it just be the newness of the game that will wear off shortly? Not sure of the history, but if he didn't have a problem managing his time with WoW, then it sounds like this may be a temporary indulgence only.

Hang in there! :wave
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Re: Hello...

Postby GamersFiancee on Tue Aug 27, 2013 6:24 pm

Yeah, I think that it is the newness of the game.. He said by Friday it should wear off.. but we'll see.. I don't see that happening.
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Re: Hello...

Postby laroo on Wed Aug 28, 2013 10:58 am

Well I can pretty much guarantee that we'll still be here after Friday, so if things don't improve you've got some place to vent. :beer
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Re: Hello...

Postby GamersFiancee on Sun Sep 01, 2013 9:18 am

We went to a movie on Friday night as a surprise to me but ever since when he wakes up it's been straight to that stupid game.. no cuddling or other.. and it's making me more mad at him.. I am thinking about going back to my own house on Tuesday because I feel that he doesn't need me here or even want me here. He's barely payed attention to me since Friday night.
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Re: Hello...

Postby ginabean on Tue Sep 03, 2013 5:29 pm

My dear. I think some tough love may be in order. The last thing you want to do is tie yourself into this relationship at the moment which may be seen as a tacit approval of his actions. Yes, everybody has the right to a hobby. Yes, everyone has the right to some downtime. But for him to live in a bubble, excluding you, not appreciating your company is not acceptable. This stuff is insidious, it creeps in, makes you doubt yourself and the type of attention you think you deserve. It starts with you accepting the fact that he should be allowed to do things that make him happy. Then it makes you feel like you're being selfish by being upset by his actions. You justify it to yourself and say to yourself, it could be worse, he could be down at the pub... It's all bullshit. Be aware that this addiction has the power to wreck relationships. If you have the opportunity to draw the line, do it now. Go back to your place, go out with the girls, make it clear to him that you will not sit by with folded hands waiting for him to see you. make it clear that you have a life, which you will get on with, without him if necessary. When he reaches a stage where you can talk about it, make it clear that you come first, or there is no US.
Maybe I'm just being a hard-arse (sorry Aus colloquialism) because I so regret no putting my foor down years ago and I'm trying to extricate myself from this relationship - and finding it enormously tough going.
Are there any other obsessions/addictions in his life? If so, has he faced them? If he quits Wow, is he likely to find a different type of "fix"?
Hang in there, we're here for you no matter what you choose to do. Hugs to you.
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Re: Hello...

Postby AMNeSia on Thu Oct 17, 2013 5:29 am

Welcome to GamerWidow, GamersFiancee.

So...since it's been a while anything was posted, how has it been? Has it improved or has it worsened? The newness of the game might wear off, but not likely. It's been the same with me...a new game and I become addicted to it till I realize my fault. Since he's too comfortable with gaming, that might not happen. Like Gina said, gaming addictions has the power to wreck relationships. Alcohol and drugs just trigger the mind's pleasure are and reduce pain, but gaming is a virtual reality. Escapism from this reality to that one for whatsoever reason is disastrous. Gina is absolutely right.

The thing is, like she said, it's insidious. Letting your loved ones do what they love is not wrong. Them get carried away and addicted is. Everyone has the right to do what they want, but this is not the right thing and morality before emotions. DIscipline before desire.

Of course, hope it's been better for you. If things have improved, then great...keep improving and going on. If things are worse, then I suggest talking to him about his gaming and why does he game so much and finding out if there are any underlying problems which make him escape to that reality or he's just that way.

Best of luck.
"Everything is relative and situational...all depends on your choices" - EiRaSAdoyC.
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