Broken hearted Widow

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Broken hearted Widow

Postby lenor_1 on Sun Apr 25, 2010 2:11 pm

Hello everyone,
I guess my story is this my husband got World of Warcraft shortly after we got engaged and has played more and more since. Now after 4 years of marriage his usage has become unbearable. I feel lonely, abandoned and heartbroken. I used to cry myself to sleep but that stop working so i started begging him to come to bed and to spend time with me.

The game is the root of all the troubles I have with my husband but apparently its his escape from me. In the last 6 weeks that i have been begging him to remove the game so we dont have to fight about it anymore Ove found out quite a few thing.
1. he has 20 year old girls in his face book page that he chats with in his "guild"
2. He isn't sure why he fell in love with me
3. He cant even say he loves me and actually mean it (though he continues to say it so each one is a small knife in my heart)
4. He claims i forced him to marry me.
5. The morning of our wedding he didn't even know why he was going through with it.
6. He is currently trying to decide if he should go look for his soul mate since apparently it was never me.

So now Im a heart broken fool who thought I had found the love of my life the man I was meant to be with and he never loved me.

Im so lost and I don't know if these feeling are real or just the addiction talking either way i cant live with that game anymore but i still want me husband.

Lenor_1
:cry2 :cry2 :cry2 :cry2 :cry2 :cry2 :cry2 :cry2 :cry2 :cry2 :cry2
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Re: Broken hearted Widow

Postby agaly on Sun Apr 25, 2010 3:49 pm

My heart cries out to you. Lenor, you may not be able to change him. I know how stubborn men can be (because I am one). I would also like you to know I'm a former game addict , so I may just have some insight into this situation. He hates it when you convict him of playing to much because he feels disrespected. It's an issue with pride. He feels annoyed because he thinks that you're a disrespectful wife. I'm not sure if you know this or not, but men have their "respect" just as women have their "love". All men want in life is to be respected by their wife and those around them, and all women want is for their husband to love them. When joined in marriage, a wife wants to be fully satisfied in the love of her husband, and a husband wants to be fully respected by his wife. The problem is, he feels like you convicting him is disrespectful, and because of this he doesn't show proper love toward you. The only way to break free of this cycle is to do the unspeakable, respect him when he show no love toward you. Don't get me wrong, this won't cure his addiction, but it will cure all tension between you two. And then maybe someday you can have a gentle little talk with him about his problem. Always remember him not coming to bed at night is not because of you. It's him an his addiction.
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Re: Broken hearted Widow

Postby Tawnee on Sun Apr 25, 2010 5:05 pm

Or go on Strike.

Don't cook for him, clean for him,pay the bills, have nookie. If you are not his "soulmate" whatever the f*** that is, then why should you do anything for him?

Show him what life is like without you. He seems to want his freedom so bad while he sits on his arse and does nothing but game so show him.

Start going out with your friends, making your own plans. Put him in the spare room and do up your bedroom how you want.

Make sure you "forget" to pay the internet bill.

Im sorry Agaly but I would not be able to show someone respect if I truely don't respect them. That goes against my core beliefs. But if someone thinks they don't want me, then fine. Don't have me.
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Re: Broken hearted Widow

Postby agaly on Sun Apr 25, 2010 7:49 pm

Tawnee wrote:Im sorry Agaly but I would not be able to show someone respect if I truely don't respect them.

You can't respect them because you can give them what you don't have, Love.

The only way to relentlessly love someone is to first be relentlessly loved by the very one who made love. Just take a moment and imagine all God has done for you. He made your eyes that you see from. He made space, timeless, opaque yet brilliant. All these thing aren't his masterpiece, we are. You may have heard this story in sunday-school, maybe not, but you would be surprise how much you missed. He gave us something of unmatched value, freedom. We have the freedom to choose, though we chose imbalance and destruction. We tore ourselves from our only creator, and in doing so, inflicted death on all creation.

We are evil. Everything we do is sin. Please read Romans 3:10 if you have a bible. Jesus, Gods very own son, who stepped down from his heaven, came to earth and became one of us sick beings. Then, unspeakable happened. We killed him. He let himself be killed because he loves us... "The stone that the builders rejected has now become the cornerstone." Jesus died with the sin of mankind, all the wrong you've done, and in doing so He made it as if we are clean. He passed his cleanness onto us. So on the final day, when we sit before the King of Kings, only by His blood that has been shed on our behalf, can we be at balance again.

The reason you can't respect and show love toward him is because you don't have any respect of love to show. Only Christ can give you the power to love the unlovable and respect the unrespectable.
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Re: Broken hearted Widow

Postby Tawnee on Tue Apr 27, 2010 4:22 am

Sorry and this is not God bashing because I actually believe in God and my kids go to a Caholic school but that is a load of sh*t!

God gave me free will, he gave me self love (ego) and he gave me hope.

He certainly did NOT suggest that I put up with crap from someone I don't respect just because I love him. Love and respect are 2 different things. I respect my boss but I don't love him and I loved my gamer but didn't respect him.

This is what God gave me.

He gave me compassion, empathy and kindness. I tried that for 4 years. Then He told me to respect MYSELF. This is what I did.

My relationship with God is private between Him and me. I never presume to know what anyones relationship with Him is or if they have any.

God does not fix everything. He gave us free will to do that ourselves.
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Re: Broken hearted Widow

Postby Tawnee on Tue Apr 27, 2010 4:24 am

p.s. and if someone wants my respect then he had better bloody deserve it!
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Re: Broken hearted Widow

Postby lenor_1 on Wed Jun 02, 2010 10:27 pm

Thank you all for your support. Ive tried the respect Ive tried the going on strike but after a couple weeks he wanted to separate. We have been separated for 3 months now and he came to me today asking for a divorce.

All I did was ask him to choose between me and a game. I have given him love, respect, and support for 12.5 years. I told everyone how wonderful he is and how much I love him and now............ I'm facing a divorce.

I wish there was a class action lawsuit against the blizzard company for the lives they are ruined. I'm now going to a therapist, I'm on anti depressants, was rushed to the ER because they were too strong and have thought about committing suicide due to my depression.

All from a game.
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Re: Broken hearted Widow

Postby lenor_1 on Thu Jun 03, 2010 4:10 pm

I'm fed up and done with crying over how Warcraft has ended my marriage. So I've called an attorney about a possible lawsuit. If anyone is interested in joining in
Contact :
Barron and Budd
1-800-222-2766
I spoke with Sandra

Its time Blizzard take's responsibility for the many lives the have ruined.

Who wants in???
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Re: Broken hearted Widow

Postby AMNeSia on Fri May 24, 2013 12:04 am

OK, don't think of this as God-bashing, but seriously...God? Are you fucking serious about it? There's no 'God'. Agaly, no offence, but apart from the word-of-mouth Bible, what proof have you got of God? God is kind, loving, compassionate, then why the hell are so many people suffering? God made us and he's kind, so why the hell does even ONE person suffer? That is literal bull-shit if you say Jesus came down for us. No one comes for you. The world is dark, lonely and twisted. No one comes to help you, no one is with you. Yea, agreed, people who love make their own light and life, but there's no 'God' to do that. You want a better life, God won't come. You'll have to do it for yourself.

You're always alone. No one to be with you, no one to light your way, no one to help you, to hold your hand, to do anything. It's you who has to do everything on your own. At such times, there's no 'God' to do anything either. If it's about having faith in something, have faith in yourself, but don't be propagandising about something non-existent whose only job is to mislead people. Sorry if I sound agitated, but trust me, I used to believe in God till I understood the non-existence of any such entity. I agree, you're free to believe in God if you want to, and I'm free to not believe if I don't want to, but saying that only Christ can give the power to love and respect is pretty good bull-shit.

Respect doesn't exist. Everyone is equal so there's nothing called respect. Freely explain what 'respect' is if you feel like it. Love does. Yes, love exists, but without God. I love someone, and God hasn't been even the TINIEST bit of help in making me a better person who actually deserves her, who's actually worth her. Like Tawnee said, if someone wants her respect, they better deserve it. I don't deserve her (not Tawnee, but the girl I'm talking about), and God hasn't even helped me the tiniest in pushing myself to be a better person. And on top of that, they say 'God helps those who help themselves'. If everyone has to help themselves, then what use is God?

We all have the power to do what we want. Saving a marriage is in our hands, eating our food is in our hands, controlling ourselves in in our hands. Everything possible is in our hands. It's we who choose not to do it. If you bring God into the discussion...that kind of defeats the whole purpose, don't you think, considering we're depending on something non-existent to help us, right?
"Everything is relative and situational...all depends on your choices" - EiRaSAdoyC.
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