I am a wow widower - broke up 3 years ago

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I am a wow widower - broke up 3 years ago

Postby l0ki on Sun Nov 21, 2010 4:05 pm

Hello fellow victims of this game.

I am guilty.

Yes, i introduced my wife to the game. She was a vivid gamer before - along with me. Playing adventure and strategy games. Both of us being fantasy fans (books, movies) we looked forward to the game, a whole fantasy world was exciting.

At that time we moved to another country and had difficulties anyways, but wow beta started and we have been hooked. I for my part looked at it like an offline game, playing limited hours and not being engaged much in social activities inside the game. I knew joining a guild would suck us in too much.

She always have been the internet type of person - social networks etc. She wasnt exactly the highschool beauty and had weight issues - with which i never had any problems. I loved her more than my life. But she was intelligent and it seemed online she would have socially much more success than in real life. I "caught" her chatting several times also and it bothered me much.

We were soulmates - so happy. But playing wow she seemed always to want more, to be pulled into this world social interaction but i seemed to have slowed her. I even convinced her for some time off the game - but it didnt help.

It started when people started contacting her ingame i didnt know. I did what i shouldnt have done, looking through her explorer history finding out she is in several game forums very active. Also in a chat with a certain person.

I tried it the brutal way, restricting internet access etc - no avail. She had been always on with them, even calling me on the phone when i was shopping, ensuring i wouldnt accidentally surpsring her ingame.

I even put up a keylogger (which is bad i know, but i was desperate), finding chatlogs of cybering her another guy etc. Talking about be being "boring" and she wanting away.

Severaly days after she had been away with real life friends and afterwards she told me she doesnt love me anymore. Suddenly. One day before she gave me presents and told me she "will love me forever". From that time she changed.

I left for good. I waited for a phonecall. I tried Emails. She was totally changed. Cold. Didnt contact me ever from alone. I made a new wow account just to see. She was on all day. She became "famous" in the official wow forums. Became guild leader with another guy. Posted every day. I can search google and find her name now.

3 years now and i still suffer. She is still in the forums. Still playing. Still unemployed. She even wants to leave the country - maybe to live with a member of her ingame guild. She talks "leet talk" like a teenager - she is 34!!! In forums where the average age is 17...

I am on antidepressants - in a new relationship but being extremely depressive at time because of this story. I can google her name and i find posts of her in the wow forum - why??? Why did she change so much???
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Re: I am a wow widower - broke up 3 years ago

Postby Sirena on Mon Nov 22, 2010 10:58 am

Hi and :welcome

Ok....it's been three years. I know it's hard, but you have got to let her go. Stop looking for her and checking on her via Google. This is affecting your health and life. Her actions are not your fault!! You have got to move on. Are you doing things in RL? Get out more, join a gym, do things for YOU! Exercise is one of the best things for depression. Hope things get better for you. Keep us posted.
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Re: I am a wow widower - broke up 3 years ago

Postby Jonathan on Mon Nov 22, 2010 12:14 pm

Hello..
I totally agree with Sirena. 3 years.. holly shit.. time to move on. You have to remember some very important things:
1. The woman that you fell in love with is gone and is not coming back. She has changed into someone that if you were to meet today you would have no interest in. Would you truly want that life again with an unemployed woman living though a computer game making a social life with other teenage gamers?
2. Stop rembering the good times.. Really, think of all the frustration and suspicion. For me it was really easy to punish myself(for months) by pulling out wedding pictures and watch the video. Finally I threw all that shit away.. burned some of it actually. I kept pictures of her sitting at the computer and pictures of the mess of a house.
3. Get some counseling.. seriously. Professional help will give you more positive techniques to help you move on.

Good Luck,
Jonathan
CLIMBING OUT OF THE HELL THAT BECAME MY LIFE...
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Re: I am a wow widower - broke up 3 years ago

Postby Tawnee on Mon Nov 22, 2010 2:49 pm

Heya,

My gamer and I broke up 3 years ago too.

I am as happy as a pig in you know what!

You really need to see a Doctor or start to change your thinking. My ex was bad and I mean BAD.He played 80 hours a week, cheated with god knows how many girls online and turned violent when fighting over the game.

But the way I see it is that I am free now. I don't have to feel stress or resentment. I enjoy my life. My home is once again my sanctuary instead of the cause of my angst.

Appreciate the wonderful woman you have now, enjoy life without a gamer.
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Re: I am a wow widower - broke up 3 years ago

Postby Psykiblue on Mon Nov 22, 2010 6:51 pm

Are you also in counseling? I really believe that could benefit from counseling as well as medication to help you fight the depression. It is extremely difficult to get through sometimes but please use this forum as a vent, as a way to release and talk to others.

First though I really think you need to realize that her gaming issues are not your fault. You introduced her to the game, but did you force her to play it? To become obsessed to the point where she ruined her relationship with you? No, you did not. That is on her. Put responsibility where it goes, on her own shoulders.

Often people who have difficulty in real life escape to the virtual world because it gives them feelings of power, of meaning something that is often short and fleeting so they continue to play to access to feel it again, again this isn't your fault either.

3 years is a long time to mourn, but relatively short in some aspects also but think of this as a time for healing. Set small goals for yourself. Perhaps you could set a goal of not searching for her name for 1-2 days, then reevaluate how you're feeling. You may think you've lost in this but you haven't. You have your whole life ahead of you, there are endless possibilities, don't let WoW take two lives. Stand up and live yours!

*hugs*
I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary; the evil it does is permanent.

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Re: I am a wow widower - broke up 3 years ago

Postby l0ki on Thu Dec 02, 2010 2:30 pm

Hey, thanks for the kind words.

I actually love my new relationship in which she doesnt have a clue bout gaming. And for some stupid reason i try to contact my former love. I really dont know why. She is lost in that fcking game but still idiot me tries to contact her.
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