Hello everyone....I am so glad to have found this place!

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Hello everyone....I am so glad to have found this place!

Postby chrissi227 on Thu Feb 09, 2012 1:32 pm

Hello all! My name is Chrissi and my hubby of 3 years is overly interested in gaming. Of course when I met him I knew he "gamed" but it was different. He would game when we were not together and I had not been exposed to the world of gaming before meeting him. We both come from previous marriages which I have 2 beautiful children from. He is a wonderful man, great father figure, and very loving....but....when he is gaming....he is does not realize there is a family here. When we moved into our first home together I thought it would be a good idea for him to have his "mancave" with his computers set up and all, a place where he could go and relax. Little did I know that he would pretty much live there. About a year and half ago he took his gaming to the next step and does live action gaming with about 4 or 5 people...I have never met.

I try to be understanding of his hobby and am thankful that he is at home...but that makes me no less lonely and longing for him. I am so glad that I found this place with people living the same way!
chrissi227
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Re: Hello everyone....I am so glad to have found this place!

Postby AMNeSia on Tue May 21, 2013 10:42 am

Welcome to GamerWidow.

Well, looks like you didn't know anything about gaming before you met him apart from the fact that games are an entertainment, right?

Well, I'm an addicted gamer myself, so it gets a bit easy, if not much for me, to understand your situation. If he's gaming too much, it's addictive and not a hobby. And now that it's escalated to live gaming, it's getting pretty serious. I don't have a man-cave and I'm addicted to playing more than 10 hours a day, used to be 18-36 hours at a stretch. Him, with his man-cave will end up disastrous. Trust me, I know. I ended up destroying my life, am striving to get back online (in life, not in gaming, LOL), but it's getting near impossible to do so. You don't want that kind of trouble, it literally takes your head off.

Did you try talking to him? If so, what was the outcome? If not, you should discuss. You said that he's a wonderful, loving person and a great father figure, so I guess he's not that out of order as I am. And yes, even I forget that I have a life beyond games and the PC when I'm on it. This is wreaking havoc on my life. Trust me, it's not a good thing. Get him out of his addiction.

If you haven't yet, act now. Talk to him when he's not gaming but free. Don't get angry, but don't get loose on what's right either. If you have tried talking and it hasn't worked, maybe being firm and asking him to reduce his gaming hours AND get the people out of the house may be necessary. You said you are both together after previous marriages. Obviously you are not going to feel good with another separation, right? Did he get separated because his significant other got fed up of his gaming addiction, or was there some other reason? You do love your family, don't let it fall apart. I don't have anyone I can call family, and I really do hate it. It wrenches the life out of me. It hurts, it drives me crazy, it pushes me to edges where I am on the border of going insane. Sometimes, I feel I don't want this life, but then, suicide is for cowards, and I'm not one.

Be firm if talking normally doesn't work. You may have to get strict with him, but I won't say about the more advanced stages of such things before knowing the present. Also, there are many people here with more experience than me, these are just my 2 bits of what I can give to help people. First, if you haven't tried talking, then talk when he's free but not gaming and pretty sane. Be cool and calm. If that hasn't worked, or doesn't work after trying, be firm that he has a family. He got together with you and no relationship works with just one end. He is responsible for you people. You deserve his attention, love, care. Don't let him squander it all in games.

Hope to hear from you soon with good results. And remember, we're all here to help. Feel free to vent anything out or ask for help anytime.
"Everything is relative and situational...all depends on your choices" - EiRaSAdoyC.
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