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Hello

Postby Babiegurl on Wed Sep 25, 2013 12:16 am

I'm new to all of this. I happened to you're site from a parenting advice facebook page. My boyfriend kills me with the xbox 360. We have two children and have been together for 10 years. It's constant from the instant he wakes up till bed time. When he did work the money went towards his games. I'd have to count on my mother to help me with the bills or what our children need. I can't take it anymore. I'm 24 and am tired of needing help to take care of my own family. I'm glad to see that I'm not alone on this and happy to meet everyone. Wish it was unsder better circumstance.
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Re: Hello

Postby ginabean on Wed Sep 25, 2013 5:14 pm

Hi Babiegirl

Welcome to the site. There's not a lot of action these days on the forum but a few of us are here every couple of days. Have you talked to him about your feelings? What steps have you taken to make it clear that you aren't happy and the you're taking a lot of strain over this. Has he ever had any other addicitions? Does he help around the house and with the kids? What's his side of the family like? Any possible intervension help there?
How do you cope with this day in and day out? Hugs to you, let us know how you are going.
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Re: Hello

Postby Babiegurl on Wed Sep 25, 2013 10:17 pm

Yea, we've talked and screamed. No he doesn't help with the children unless I give him no other option. His family is good. Noone has addictions or anything like that. He was never like this until about three years ago and he borrowed his cousins xbox and then it was all over from there. He's never had addictions. I thought maybe it was because he lost his job and got bored and that's why he started but He got a new job and then would spend all of his money on games. If I mention hiding it he threatens physical violence. I'm worried about him but how can I help him when he won't admit anything is wrong. His family and I got together and talked to him about it and it didn't fase him. I've done everything but leave him. I'm wondering if that will wake him up to reality. It's gotten so bad that we don't have physical contact anymore. He doesn't help clean my bedroom looks like a recycling bin for cans. I was hoping to connect with someone who may know what I could do to get through to him. I don't want to leave I love him with all my heart and I'd hate to put our children through that. But our son acts up so much just to get his attention. He knows if he keeps not listening to me that I will go get his dad and he gets attention. Our daughter doesn't seem to care. It scares me that my children won't know their father because he's so wrapped up in Call of Duty. I'm just lost on what to do. I'm only 24 and he's only 27 but I don't want to waste more time with someone who doesn't want to be with me. I'm just lost.
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Re: Hello

Postby Babiegurl on Thu Sep 26, 2013 4:55 pm

I cope with it by taking care of our children keeping the house clean and after the kids go to bed I do play a game on Facebook for about 30 minutes then go to bed. Im usually really tired. I have my mom to listen to me when I'm upset and a good friend who understands.
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Re: Hello

Postby ginabean on Mon Sep 30, 2013 6:43 am

Hey babiegirl, my heart breaks. Damn games. It worries me that he's so completely zoned out that he's threatened violence. He does not even care that his family knows about what he's putting you through. Damn the game. It's like it encloses them in a bubble and nothing you do seems to be able to penetrate this. Some guys seem to play like mad for a few months, and then slowly start to get a life again, and some don't. My husband has been going for three years and I can't remember the last decent conversation. It depends on how long you're willing to hang in there I guess. Problem is that a little bit of the love and respect you have for him disappears every time he neglects you and the kids, a bit more when you end up doing the home maintenance yourself, more when he talks more to his buddies online than to you, and if you leave it long enough you will only have a shell of a relationship. Maybe an intervention with the whole family? Your safety worries me if you try to draw the line on your own.... Do you have a plan b up your sleeve just in case crunch time comes?
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Re: Hello

Postby AMNeSia on Thu Oct 17, 2013 6:37 am

Welcome to GamerWidow, BabieGurl.

Physical violence? Damn, this has got to a breaking point. If my significant other committed physical violence one me over such a thing, i'd not leave them alive. If he threatens physical violence, he can get a real good punch from you for that.

I'm sorry, I'm just that way. I've been bullied a lot in school, plus quite some life of mine has gone in gaming which has caused me to become anti-social and I don't take lightly to something wrong, though it is complicated and somewhat ironic.

Anyways...talking hasn't worked, screaming hasn't worked. You asked him his reasons of gaming so much? I mean, many times, like in my case, people game this way to escape from this reality to a virtual reality. He may just be an addict gamer, but still may have reasons for this.

If nothing works, do hie his XBox. Tell his and your family about it. If he gets physically violent, they will help and the law's always there. Been together for 10 years and physical violence? When I read this topic, that was the thing I found quite disturbing. He's playing Call Of Duty...he may not hesitate to perform his 'duty' to be violent on you to preserve his gaming life. You shouldn't hesitate to save your own either. Love is a good thing, but like his addiction blinds him, don't let love blind you. Leaving is not a great option, but what is necessary is never unwise. If nothing works at all, then that might be the only option. A person who doesn't care for their family, especially their other half and their kids, doesn't deserve to have them in the first place.

Best wishes to you. Do tell us how's it been.
"Everything is relative and situational...all depends on your choices" - EiRaSAdoyC.
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