A little something about me...

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A little something about me...

Postby Saz on Thu Mar 15, 2012 2:41 pm

Hello, I don't know whether I should write about who I used to be or who I have become over the last (almost) 5 years...

Afraid of rambling on, I will try to keep this as short as possible - after all, I am attempting to introduce myself and not my husband's addiction ;) I will definitely be rambling on about that when the time comes :grumble

I am a 36 year old who is slowly starting to realise that we only get one shot at this thing called life. There have been so many "last straws" during my eleven year marriage that I fear I may have built a barn to store them all in, so they can be dealt with at a later date! (if you know what I mean?) I didn't understand what an enabler was until I started researching WoW addiction. I have to admit that I haven't taken dinner to the computer desk for almost 2 years but still, when there are no consequences after promises are broken and lies are told, what else can you call it?

Today I added another straw to the barn... so, here I am... trying to admit to all and sundry that I really don't know why my husband and I are still together. I even tried a pros and cons list and I became very upset when I couldn't think of any pros. The fact that I even tried to write one in the first place is saying something! Needless to say I got as far as the headings and couldn't write any more.

If one of my friends came to me with the same issues, what would I say to them? I would tell them to do the exact opposite to what I have been doing for the last 5 years! So why is it so hard to follow my own advice? I am the only one who can make the changes to my life.

But what if it does work out this time? And if not this time, it might next time, right? This is why I am still here.. and why I had to join this group. How many 'times' are there going to be? And when do you say, enough is enough?

And that's about it for now really. I read the introduction, and chuckled when I read about the techniques we have all used - I have definitely tried all of them! And then I read some of the posts and I cried.

I might not be much help to anyone else on here right now, but I can be compassionate when I need to be and perhaps even create a smile for those who may need one. Oh and I also have a couple of chins going spare if anyone is having trouble keeping theirs up, you'll have to be quick though as they're in the process of being evicted (hopefully!)

Take care all and if you made it this far I'm sorry for rambling when I said I wouldn't!

Saz x
Saz
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Re: A little something about me...

Postby AMNeSia on Tue May 21, 2013 10:06 am

Welcome to GamerWidow.

Well, I'm an addicted gamer myself, and people here come to ramble, so don't worry about it. My own introduction post is longer than most here, LOL. Though, thing is, unlike you being there for your husband, I'm pretty alone. I mean, I do have parents, but thing is, they're just physically present taking care of my material needs. Never any bit of emotional support, and I've detached from them long ago.

Anyways, I get the thing of not being able to follow your own advice. I've been going for 3 years now on gaming. I know what I have to do, I know how to do it...and yet fail at doing it. No motivation or discipline in me at all. It's like, I know what road to take, but I don't know how to start walking on it. Now if someone has a way for that, I'd be real longing to get it too.

Most of the time, I'm doing nothing except being an ass and when I find I've done nothing, I berate myself, feel bad and fall even low. At the end, I do nothing and am back at square one. Sheesh, now only if I had someone physically present to kick my ass...bloody moronic, eh?
"Everything is relative and situational...all depends on your choices" - EiRaSAdoyC.
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