Another RPG gamer widow

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Another RPG gamer widow

Postby gdsgirl on Sat Mar 17, 2012 12:21 am

Thank you for being here...I am sorry that you also know the hair pulling addiction to gaming as I have with my h. He has been a gamer all of his life; addictive personality in many ways and just learning that he is bpd or emotional dysregulated disorder (ERD), yet undiagnosed.

He "limited" himself greatly to the amount of time spent gaming when we were first married (year ago, reunited after 25 years, he was an addict then also) ; his addiction led him to buy a laptop JUST TO PLAY a game that he says that he wanted for TEN years. Well, my, how could I "hold him back" from getting ANOTHER computer to play another game. He only has about EVERY gaming system available, many computers and still he needed another one. This was JUST after Christmas and his emotional illness was not yet clear to me. I see that gaming calms him. With him, if he is playing and I am available to him, it is okay; the moment that I "check out", he gets an attitude. :jeebus

Just ranting...sending hugs to all other "widows".... :grouphug
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Re: Another RPG gamer widow

Postby gdsgirl on Sun Mar 18, 2012 3:31 pm

As an update: he has spent over 10 hrs on Friday; 8 hrs on Saturday and already today, he has been gaming since 12noon, just after lunch...4 hrs and we need to go grocery shopping and then have dinner and get my son ready for bed and watch our TV program, the Walking Dead and then he will get back online for a few hours and MAY watch the TALKING DEAD at midnight (I would like to watch it if awake) and then he will play until about 3 am.

I am not even talking to him about the time he spends on the PC...I reminded him at breakfast that I would to get a mobile laptop so I can begin writing and that I would like a writing software program downloaded onto it so I could organize our book. I told him that I am finding that I have more time to write and I would like to work on it right away. Seeing that he understands the URGENCY in getting his "gamer fix", I related that to MY NEED to write and told him that I needed certain tools that I will look for him to help provide for me.

Thanks for welcoming me into the group; hope there are other gamer widows who can give me some advice and help on how to deal with his compulsive gaming. I don't think that there is much of a relationship and I won't "hold onto hope" and wait for him to end a game. I just go on with my life...
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Re: Another RPG gamer widow

Postby ginabean on Tue Mar 27, 2012 9:19 pm

Hey gdsgirl...

I know eactly what it's like... my husband surrounds himself with laptop, pc, iPod, iPad, iPhone and Android phone, with multiple versions of the same game and juggling between them and chatting with his buddies/ladies...

Latest is that he is encourage me to play the game with him. On what for g*ds sake - he's got eveything already! Or maybe justification to buy a new gadget that I have to somehow rob Peter to pay Paul to afford.

It's getting real close for me now...
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Re: Another RPG gamer widow

Postby iyanalanee1 on Sun Apr 01, 2012 2:22 am

Hi my name is Monica and my fiance is addicted to Call of Duty, i just joined gamer widow and i really need advice. we have a two year old daughter who is very observant of her dads behavior. when he is playing he curses at my daughter for coming into the room and i don't know where to go or what to do about his gaming. he skips class to come home and play the game, household chores are all now my responsibility, we have went to counseling and he has promised to focus on our future and as soon as we got home he continued. i have tried to play the game with him and realized how addicting it is (the game doesn't even pause) and i may need some elderly advice. i am 19 years old and my fiance is 21 and i need to be sure that i am trying all i can for this family before i let go. someone help!!!! :cry2
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Re: Another RPG gamer widow

Postby ginabean on Thu Oct 18, 2012 9:54 pm

Hi
I just noticed this post - did someone get back to you?
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