Seeking self-help resources.

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Seeking self-help resources.

Postby LongTimeMMOer on Sun Dec 09, 2012 1:17 am

Hello,

I'm not sure where to start. Like many other posters I too am using MMORPGs to escape real life issues. I have done so since early 2000 or so. I'm not blaming the game itself rather my inability to cope properly with real life. At the moment I've come to a crossroad. I've gone to extremes to avoid real life. An example of this would be that I accepted work in another city and moved to get away from nagging friends and family trying to help. At this point they have pretty much given up on me, and I don't blame them one bit.

Why I'm at a crossroad is that I was offered another position at work which means that I would have to deal with more people and more responsibility. Instead of being grateful and simply accepted the position, I just declined and resigned. I've been lucky in that I've been able to maintain a job the last few years and not spent much. This basically enables me to not work for the next 5-7 years and just play MMO(s) if I wanted, which scares the hell out of me.

I come from a long line of alcoholism and personality disorders galore in my family. I'm grateful to some extent for not ending up staring at the bottom of a bottle everyday until an early death or becoming an extreme narcissist, border-line, obsessive compulsive, or even extreme case of psychopathy, but the drawback of that is that I seem to display most of the symptoms of "Avoidant Personality Disorder". This was not always the case, and my self-diagnosis may be completely off the chart.

Without getting zappy I guess I'm standing at two roads (that diverge in a yellow wood), and I'm trying to look down both roads as far as I can to see where they will lead.

I honestly don't know where to begin, I feel so lost and soon as I finish this post I'm most likely going to alt-tab into my current MMO and be gone for the whole weekend. I'm not looking for pity in anyway, I guess I just don't know where to turn at the moment, and looking for any kind of self-help resource out there to start with, as I'm reluctant to visit a therapist of any kind...

Jake, NJ
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Re: Seeking self-help resources.

Postby ginabean on Mon Dec 10, 2012 9:56 pm

Hi jake. maybe you've taken the first step in admitting you have a problem (without going all AA on you). You've admited you don't likr your life. You've admitted that you don't like what gaming has done to you. maybe the next step is to tell someone you really care about in RL that you don't want to do this anymore.

I'm just cancerned that you have even moved to avoid the conflict that results as part of your gaming, so you are great at running away (don't misunderstand me, no insult intended).

If you don't want to try therapy or rehab, you're going to have to go cold turkey. That requires planning. You need to understand what symptoms you can expect. You need to write down on a big chart what you want to give up whay you want to do it and put it on the wall. Make a one year goal, and don;t let anything (including yourself) stop you. Fight for it. You need to have a friend available on the phone 24x7 to talk you through the 2am crisis. You need to be kind to yourself, go to the gym or for a walk, amybe take a road trip for a week and drive wherever your nose points you. Take joy in little things. YOU DESERVE A LIFE!!!!
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Re: Seeking self-help resources.

Postby LongTimeMMOer on Tue Dec 11, 2012 2:15 pm

Thank you kindly for your reply ginabean. I'm still thinking about what you wrote, will reply properly a bit later in the week or close to the weekend.
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Re: Seeking self-help resources.

Postby Psykiblue on Tue Dec 11, 2012 3:59 pm

I think when gaming has become an addiction it can be a huge struggle to find help or know what is out there when you're ready.

I know one site is http://www.olganon.org/ and I know of a few ex-gamers who would recommend it. We also have many posts in the forum on some of the struggles you are going through.

Is there anyone in your life now who know the full extent of your struggle? Are you affiliated with any religion or groups?

As for your job is there anyway you can salvage your job? find another one?
I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary; the evil it does is permanent.

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