Welcome

This forum is for those of you who are in the middle of or have successfuly beat the addiction. Whether your addiction was gaming, smoking, eating, etc. you are welcome to use this forum to help you get through it or share your story of how you got through it!

Moderators: Psykiblue, Tawnee, Neglected

Welcome

Postby thefeeny on Sat Sep 24, 2005 4:28 am

Hello and welcome to the "Rehab Room"

This forum is the result of several suggestions from widow(er)s, gamers and reformed gamers alike. The idea behind this forum is to discuss addictions.

Given the huge diversity of addictions that afflict people, I hope this will be a place where we can discuss our addictions - those affecting us now, those we have conquered - how we haved tackled them, and of course, those we fell unable to tackle.

I hope gamers will visit this forum and share their stories, along with those of us who have conquered or want to conquer similar adictions, such as smoking, alcohol, eating problems .... and so on.

I will try and combine the various links to all the addiction / "how to stop stories" that already exist in these forums in a single post made sticky here. If you have posted a story here (or anywhere really!) let me know and I will try to link it back to this forum.

Lastly, I have requested that this forum remain open for all to see and contribute to. I believe that the cure to addiciton lies through honesty and openness. Any of us that have conquered an addiction know this to be true, and I believe that those of us deep in the grasp of addicitons also know it to be true.
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Re: Welcome

Postby Djorn on Tue Jul 14, 2009 11:24 am

Hello

I am an ex-WoW addict and one of the things that eventually helped me quit was this forum. So i'd like to offer something back.

Back when I was addicted; I quit my job, just to play. I lost friends, just to play. I lost my girlfiend of 5 years, just to play. I neglected my family, just to play. I neglected my fitness, just to play.

There's been a fundamental change inside me which made my whole life healthier and happier, and this has affected my gaming habits.

It was never really the game's fault. It could of been anything I got addicted too. I was an unhappy confused person and I reached out for something to help me ignore this.

I have Anxiety, sometimes it makes me me unhappy. I tried to use WoW to ignore it, but it never actually worked. I was fooling myself that it did, but in reality I was still unhappy and anxious, I just pushed it down into my chest and that made it all the worse.

I've always been quite a cool guy, quite popular at school, so I didn't think there could be anything wrong with me, I must be fine. I was ashamed to admit I had any negative traits, let alone anxiety, it made me weak, made me uncool, made me not fit in, so I denied it.

However, denying it didn't make me fit it, didn't make me cool and it didn't make me strong, it didn't solve anything. Now that I know I have anxiety, I'm still fucking cool, not despite, but because of it, it makes me me. And people like me.

My thing was anxiety, but that wasn't the only factor, and yours may well be different. There was no one rule, one realisation I came too. There is no one answer I can give you. If you never find out the underlying reasons for the things you do, you'll bounce from one addiction to another. I have many psychological problems, but none so bad as ignoring them.

The best advise I can offer is, if, like me, you suspect that you might be using the game to hide from something, be brave, step into the light and face your fears. What you're hiding from might not even be immediately apparent to you, but if you let it, it will come.

No matter how horrible you think it's going to be, I promise it isn't half as bad as ignoring it forever. At first, life will be harder without games, there's no denying that, but eventually, it will be beyond worth it.

I thought I was happy playing the game. Even when I was trying to quit. I thought that little burst of play gave me a burst of happiness. I was wrong.

Be strong. Trust me, If I can do it, so can you.

I figured most of this out by writing a diary. I just wrote whatever was swirling around in my head down onto paper, without examination, without analysing it before I'd written it. No matter how stupid or weird or crazy it sounded i wrote it down and I felt better afterwards, try it.

My method might not work for you, and you might have different issues to me but you are an intelligent, beautiful person and if you try hard enough, you will figure out your own path to freedom and happiness.
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Re: Welcome

Postby happiness on Tue Jul 14, 2009 12:03 pm

I've allways liked you Djorn - and this post is excellent aswell.

To me it's all about getting in contact with your emotional side - to better understand what your emotional needs are. Excessive computer gaming is a way of trying to escape - some sort of attempt at a solution to mend whatever emotional wounds you have. It will work in the short run but not in the long run. It will give a temporary relief - as will substance abuse. None of it good for complete healing though.

Using a diary is an excellent way to get in contact with your self - your emotions, inner thoughts and true needs.

My own personal journey before I even was addicted started with a diary. Its allways been a powerfull tool - though i tend to neglect it these days.

Best wished to anyone who dares break a bad pattern and work out what's really going on in their life!
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Re: Welcome

Postby Mortlach on Thu Feb 04, 2010 5:03 pm

I recognize some of the things you say, Djorn. I too am a WoW-addict (Are we truly ever ex-addicts?). I also have anxiety, but medication keeps that managable so far. The irony is that most people have nothing but good things to say about me, but because of low self-esteem, I have a hard time believing them. I try to trust their judgement more nowadays, since I'm sure as heck not very objective.

Thinking of quiting gaming completely is quite terrifying. Mostly because I wouldn't know what to do with the free time, and i'm afraid I'd start brooding again, or replace one addiction with another. This probably means I still use games for something other than their actual purpose: enjoyment. But at least I don't do it for 80 hours a week anymore ;-)

Instead of a diary, I meditate. Sitting down and trying to allow every thought to happen without getting caught by it is quite the experience. I try to do it regularly, but usually run and hide when something scary shows up. I'm not quite brave enough to face those inner demons. Not yet, anyway.
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Re: Welcome

Postby 2ndHandRose on Sat Feb 13, 2010 9:29 pm

Djorn wrote:The best advise I can offer is, if, like me, you suspect that you might be using the game to hide from something, be brave, step into the light and face your fears. What you're hiding from might not even be immediately apparent to you, but if you let it, it will come.

No matter how horrible you think it's going to be, I promise it isn't half as bad as ignoring it forever. At first, life will be harder without games, there's no denying that, but eventually, it will be beyond worth it.

I figured most of this out by writing a diary. I just wrote whatever was swirling around in my head down onto paper, without examination, without analysing it before I'd written it. No matter how stupid or weird or crazy it sounded i wrote it down and I felt better afterwards, try it.

My method might not work for you, and you might have different issues to me but you are an intelligent, beautiful person and if you try hard enough, you will figure out your own path to freedom and happiness.


Hi Djorn. I'm new in the community but I have read the posts for a few days now. I came back to this because it is one of my favorites. I think you have written your goals and insights beautifully. I'm sure this will help many others.

I found journaling to be really useful, too. Are you familiar with the book The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron? In it, she talks about something called Morning Pages which is similar to how you described your diary writing. It's a beautiful book and I think you may really like it.

I quit a few months ago, but my husband and son have not. It's difficult, which is why I looked for this site to begin with. I have other interests now as well so that is helping a lot. I'm sure there will be a day when I have to resist the urge to play, or when hearing them discuss it won't make me so sad.

All the best to you on your Quit. It is precious. Guard it daily, one day at a time.
The road of life is full of squashed squirrels who couldn't make up their minds.
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Re: Welcome

Postby maomao on Wed Nov 10, 2010 1:35 am

Advantageously, the article is actually the sweetest on this worthy topic.
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Re: Welcome

Postby Lyoness on Tue Dec 04, 2012 10:16 pm

Even though this article is was posted several years ago, it's still quite relevant today. :)
Founder of GamerWidow.com

Please feel free to become a contributing author to the site! Email me at lyoness@gamerwidow.com if you are interested. :)
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