Four Years

This forum is for those of you who are in the middle of or have successfuly beat the addiction. Whether your addiction was gaming, smoking, eating, etc. you are welcome to use this forum to help you get through it or share your story of how you got through it!

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Four Years

Postby Djorn on Tue Feb 03, 2009 6:17 pm

I first visited this forum over four years ago whilst addicted to WoW: viewtopic.php?f=27&t=576

Then just under a year ago I came back: viewtopic.php?f=27&t=6717

I remember writing those posts, but it seems like a lifetime ago. It's hard to believe that was me. I was undenaibly, massively, massively in denail. I made constant attempts to justify my behaviour to myself, but it never, ever worked. I never truly fooled myself. I can't begin to describe how different a person I am to the person who made those posts, or how different my life is. I successfully stopped playing both of those games which ailed me.

However, for the past 2 weeks I have been playing Warhammer Online. I was bored and lonely. I was enjoying it, I got to rank 7 and I felt that compulsion to gain more experience points and just do one more thing start to pull at me again. Start to eat at me. It's gone. Uninstalled. No fuss. No melodrama. Even after 2 weeks it was a difficult decision, but a necessary one. Life is full of difficult decisions. We usually know deep down which is the right one, whether we like the answer or not.

Even with Warhammer Online i was excelling in my job, going out with friends and consistently beating my personal best running times. I was as happy as I normally am. But something just felt wrong. I wanted to spend all my spare time that I was alone, playing the game. For me, that's unacceptable. I prefer to just relax and have some time to think. I made a choice, to stop playing. Because it seems, yet again, I can't play and enjoy online games without them dominating my thoughts.

I suggest anybody reading this makes a similar choice. Whichever choice you make will be difficult. Is it worth it? I know which option I would suggest, for a million and one reasons, but it's not for me to decide, it's for you. You can grow as a person, more than you can possibly imagine at the moment. It will be one of the most difficult things you've ever done. But it will, without a shadow of a doubt, be worth it.
Last edited by Djorn on Tue Feb 03, 2009 6:29 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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Re: Four Years

Postby Djorn on Tue Feb 03, 2009 6:21 pm

I am tempted to post a link to a blog I have been writing about the state of my own brain, my general weird thoughts and feelings. It's effectively an attempt be my own psychotherapist.

I am rather hesistant to though as I'd be embaressed, most of it is absolute garbage. Some of it does relate to addiction and also, to depression and how I have dealt with it. I dare say my ramblings wouldn't make sense to any mind but my own deragned one though, so perhaps not.

Having said that I would highly suggest writing down all your thoughts and feelings, completely openly and honestly. It has helped me an immeasurable amount, I feel I have found my cure.
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Re: Four Years

Postby chibichan on Wed Feb 04, 2009 1:23 am

Thanks for sharing your story. I'm new here but really happy to hear that you have made such great progress, it gives me hope.

I also write a lot on my own blog. It really helps to get the thoughts down in journal form, without feeling as if you'll be judged. I would recommend it to anyone, even people who are perfectly content... because in my opinion writing can be such a beautiful and releasing form of expression amongst many others (music, dance, and other various forms of art are my favorites to both partake in and enjoy). There's a book I heard about that I want to read as soon as I have free time called If You Want to Write: A Book about Art, Independence and Spirit by Brenda Ueland...

It's interesting to read the reasons you described for playing a lot of WoW in the first place. I guess I am different from many people here because I usually end up playing to relax and/or escape from stress and anxiety... I am not sure if I would play as much if I had a regular 9 to 5 job. But then again, maybe I would play more.

Sorry about that.... I guess that was less of a response and more of a reflection on myself. Anyway, thanks for sharing, it's nice to hear about progress :)
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Re: Four Years

Postby Neglected on Wed Feb 04, 2009 9:36 am

Djorn wrote:Because it seems, yet again, I can't play and enjoy online games without them dominating my thoughts.


:welcome Back Djorn. It's so good to hear from you and all your new revelations as well. Congratulations about your new life!

I'm a lot like you. I quit cold turkey though, but I knew immediately that I couldn't be a casual gamer either. I guess everyone is wired differently, so you just have to do what works for you.

For my own reasons, I've had to start a daily journal. It sure does make you think and see outside of whatever situation you are in.

Glad you're back and I hope you will stick around to help others :hug

ps If you would like me to resend that pm to you from awhile back, I can certainly do so ;) Just let me know.
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Re: Four Years

Postby Djorn on Wed Feb 04, 2009 1:20 pm

chibichan wrote:Sorry about that.... I guess that was less of a response and more of a reflection on myself.


They are the best kind of responses! I do that all the time.

Thanks for the welcome back Neglected! :sredit I may well see how I do helping others out but I never feel I am any good at it. I tend to do a lot of listening in real life and feel that I never actually help!

Good to hear others write. I sometimes have to restrain myself even from writing! I get compulsed to record every single thought I have, which is not cool.

Today I had urges to play Warhammer. I could of convinced myself it's ok, but I just thought of the alternatives and they seemed so much better. I remember when I first quit WoW the urges came every few seconds! I had to make the difficult decision every few seconds to not play, and i slipped quite a few times but i managed it in the end.
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Re: Four Years

Postby Psykiblue on Wed Feb 04, 2009 2:33 pm

Sometimes the listening part is the best thing you can do for someone.
I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary; the evil it does is permanent.

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Re: Four Years

Postby Djorn on Tue Feb 17, 2009 6:50 pm

Hjhh
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