Ok seriously??

This forum is for those of you who are in the middle of or have successfuly beat the addiction. Whether your addiction was gaming, smoking, eating, etc. you are welcome to use this forum to help you get through it or share your story of how you got through it!

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Ok seriously??

Postby WoWer66 on Tue Aug 18, 2009 3:05 pm

I for one think that this is a bunch of B.S. and please hear me out before you delete my post or spam me. Seriously? Widow?.

I will start by introducing myself. I have been a gamer for 20 years. I was a pro-gamer for the MLG for 3 years and made a good chunk of money doing so. I have been playing MMOs for about 14 years starting with Ultima Online back in the mid 90s. I have since playing EQ, EQ2, AC, AC2, WoW, SWG, AoC, CoH and more.

That being said.....GAMING IS NOT AN ADDICTION! I do it because I love it. Just like the guy who paints, or works on his car or goes golfing with his buddies. Why does gaming get so much crap? Because its "childish"? Get with the times. Men have always enjoyed their hobbies more than their wives/girlfriends/etc. Its just how it works. Ask any man you see on the street, I can almost promise that atleast 90% of them will tell you they enjoy their most loved hobby more than spending time with their "other".

Fellow gamers, I ask you to unite to fight this horrible insult calling us "addicts". We don't rush on to the computer to play WoW right when we get home from work because we are addicted....we do it because it keeps her off our back and we enjoy it.

Now...before you go insulting me or questioning my view or the weight of my opinions. I am 25 years of age, I am a high-honors high school grad who is a self-employed home owner. I also run my own business. I have been in and out of relationships but hey, havent we all?. And before I start a new relationship I always inform her that she will always come second to my gaming, no questions asked.

There is no rule book saying your partner needs to be first priority in your life. Thats just ignorant. These women who complain about not coming first in their man's life really need to calm down a bit. And also just maybe, take a look at themselves. Maybe, just maybe, the reason that he plays his videogames more than he spends time with you is because that they make him happier than you do. Maybe the problem isnt his....maybe its yours.


A die hard never-ending gamer.
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Re: Ok seriously??

Postby Tawnee on Tue Aug 18, 2009 4:07 pm

Ok,

I don't have time for a long detailed reply. So just a couple of things via dot point. And this relates to MY situation, might not be for everyone.

1. I tried to make my gamer leave. If he didn't want to spend time with me I wasn't going to make him stay. First he would beg and cry and say he would spend more time, he loved me blah blah blah. I finally had to FORCE him to leave.

2. Not all gamers are addicted, even hard core ones, just like not everyone who drinks is an alcoholic etc. But some are.

3. Not all gamers choose to face their responsibilities first and game for fun. Mine lost his job, lost his friends, spendt money he didn't have on wow gold, stole money from me for wow gold.

4. What about the gamers that ignore their children? And I mean totally. I have dealt with it and we had a widow here that kid was hurt cause Dad was gaming instead of watching. Or the kids that only see the back of their Dad's head and ask Mum why Dad loves the game more than them. Or the parents that have lost custody of their kids (Mums included) because of their gaming "Hobby".

Thats a quick version. My ex played a minimum of 80 hours a week.
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Re: Ok seriously??

Postby laroo on Tue Aug 18, 2009 7:03 pm

I guess it might take a little understanding to see where we are coming from. I'm only speaking for myself here, but a relationship is always based on a certain understanding between two partners - I will be A/B/C to your X/Y/Z. If the understanding you have with your partner is that she will take a back seat to your video games, and she is OK with that, then more power to you. If you find that woman, keep her and count yourself lucky.

The term widower, to me, implies that somewhere along the line something was introduced that was not a part of the original understanding and has now progressed to the point where what was once the most important part of the relationship, closeness, has withered and died on the vine for the sake of a video game. Hence the term, gamer widow. The relationship/marriage you have committed yourself to is dead.

It sounds like you're pretty defensive. You love gaming, that's great. You're passionate about it and I think it's likely you'll find that nobody here will condemn you for it. Do your thing. You sound up front and honest about it so it should not be a surprise to your SO that comes into the relationship months or years down the line. But for most people here, I think you'll find that that is simply not the case. We sat helplessly on the sidelines and watched the people we love turn into, well, you. Not that we don't love you. It's just that we didn't marry you.

Don't take it personally.:trout
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Re: Ok seriously??

Postby sunshines_heart on Tue Aug 18, 2009 9:25 pm

You seem to be in denial and are completely oblivious to the pain and suffering caused by these addictions. How are your relationships? Do you have any? I dont think the havoc being wreaked by this in marriages and families and relationships is BS. People are being hurt by excessive gaming everywhere. Your whole post sounds like a lot of rationalization to me.
"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans." John Lennon
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Re: Ok seriously??

Postby Sirena on Tue Aug 18, 2009 9:55 pm

:rofl

"I've been in and out of relationships......and before I start a new relationship I always inform her that she will always come in second to my gaming, no questions asked."
I do believe this is the stupidest, most ridiculous thing I have ever read on GW. What an oxymoron! Of course you are in and out of relationships. With a dumb attitude like that, you will be in and out of relationships the rest of your life; unless, of course, you marry a gamer who gives a crap about you too. Good grief!

"Fellow gamers, I ask you to unite to fight this horrible insult calling us addicts."
:blink Did we call you an addict? We don't even know you. According to you, you are successful. You have done well. You probably couldn't have accomplished all this if you were an addict. Like Tawns said, some of us are dealing with s/o's that don't work, pay no attention to their own children, and do nothing but game. These are addicts.

Now, do you stand up for these, your fellow-gamers, or do you think they have a problem?
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Re: Ok seriously??

Postby happiness on Wed Aug 19, 2009 1:10 am

You seem to lack a human skill called empathy.... Interesting that you found the time to come here with your ramble and your flaming.
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Re: Ok seriously??

Postby WoWer66 on Wed Aug 19, 2009 3:27 am

It wasnt ramble or flaming. But what about the guy who golfs every morning? Or the guy who works 15 hours a day 6-7 days a week (A "working" man). No one gets as much flack about it as gamers.

And I made my point about the other gamers uniting and standing up because we have to stick up for eachother. There is nothing wrong with gaming. If you find it to be the most important thing to you, so be it. I know I do. And don't complain if the person you are with feels the same way I do. If you truly loved your husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend/w.e. you would respect their desires and passions and love them for who they are/what they have become, not what you want them to be.

To the person who said I made a stupid comment for saying I would never put a girl over my games. Well that is your opinion. My videogames have been a part of my life for 20 years. And that will do nothing but continue to legnthen. There is not one single person who I could meet who could possibly match that.

Let me tell you a little story about a situation I encountered about 13 years ago. It was my best friends Dad that introduced me into Ultima Online back in 1995. He played about 10-15 hours a day. So did I and my friend. One morning before his wife (now ex) went to work she told him. Its me or the game, you decide. When she got home from work that day the door to his computer room was locked, her bags were packed and there was a note saying "Easy choice, have a nice life". To this day I applaud him for standing up for his own passions and what he believed in and not let another human being try to force him out of it. Ill say it like I said in my frist post. If you S/O is choosing a videogame (hell, any hobby) over you, then maybe its not them....maybe you are not providing the way you should resulting in them not desiring to spend any time with you any longer. (And women, [and I only say this because this is one of the things I have heard], if your husband/boyfriend picked up this gaming "addiction" right around the same time you "put on some weight" then STOP BLAMING HIM! You have your reason right there. I have heard that so many times on talk shows/forums. "Well it happened shortly after I put on some weight"....well....your brain works right? Think for a second. Its not hard. 1+1=2. His so called addiction if your replacement.
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Re: Ok seriously??

Postby Tawnee on Wed Aug 19, 2009 4:16 am

Ok, I have more time now.

Maybe go to the Real Life thread and check out some of the photos of us widows and see if we have put on weight. I know for damn sure that my ex gamer put on way more weight than I did (and fyi I am 64kg, 5"9, DD and a true strawberry blonde) he was fuckin lucky to get me. He meanwhile put on about 20 kg, his skin broke out from poor eating and his hair was greasy cause he didn't shower enough.

Also remember I tried to get rid of him. He wouldn't break up with me. He tried to stop and the gaming would suck him in. Do you think gamblers can become addicts? Cause thats what gaming CAN do. And we are not saying everyone is.

You didn't mention a single comment about my post. Maybe you need to read our stories to understand more.

My sweet man started gaming slowly. His friend introduced him to wow and he got in heavy to start off with and them calmed down. I started to play with him. I have nothing against games or gaming. My son games. But when you don't show up to work, when you let your drivers license lapse, when you spend all your money and steal from others and when you start lying about how much time you spend gaming and then end up beating your spouse because she questions your commitment to her and the amount of time gaming then somethings wrong.

If my ex gamer didn't want to be with me why didn't he leave? I gave him ample opportunities to. He wanted to stay, he wanted to slow down on his gaming but even HE admitted he was addicted.

Also, we are not going onto wow sites and calling all gamers addicts, and it's a bit strange to come to a widow site and ask for "all gamers to unite" against the very forum you are a member of!

And if your friend choose a bunch of 000 and 111 instead of his partner well, thats pretty fucking stupid. See how much your gaming buddies help you when the chips are down, see if they care for you, love you and help you through the pain of a trauma. Many gamers have come to this site and after not gaming for a month, they hear jack from their guildies.

And hey, if you're not addicted I guess you can happily not play for a month. Try it! If it's just a hobby then you should have no problems.
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Re: Ok seriously??

Postby Shadow Guest on Wed Aug 19, 2009 9:12 am

The primary reason you took the time to register and write these series of complaints is because you want to defend gaming. However, had you taken the time to read any of the forum posts here and actually comprehended them, you would realize that most all of these people do not actually hate or blame gaming. They hate the addictive habits their spouses develop and how it interrupts their shared life.

These aren't people who picket or slander gaming companies and their patrons, these are people with real life problems and need a place to vent, be given advice and receive compassion. However, as someone who claims to place people in your life second to gaming, you should not actually care what these strangers think or feel at all--which you clearly do not. With that type of mentality and having admitted to failing in maintaining a healthy relationship (outside of gaming), I am appalled by your audacity to come here and lecture these people about their feelings and relationships because you're throwing a childish tantrum.

Honestly, no one is going to go to great lengths to please weak minded fools who put them second and sit on their asses most all day, lacking any form of personal integrity outside of a regulated structure. You can not justify keeping a person in a relationship where you refuse to make much effort and they have the sole responsibility of relentlessly working to be considered worthy of attention by contending with your overly indulgent "hobbies". Why are you unable to put forth as much effort with a person as you do in a game?

I am a gamer along with my boyfriend, we are also both very passionate people with many enjoyed hobbies, but they do not define and dictate the entirety of our personal lives.
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Re: Ok seriously??

Postby Ender on Wed Aug 19, 2009 10:04 am

Like 99% of most gamers out there, you fail to see the problem. What problem you say? The fact that most of these people here have found them in situations where it was basically their future or their s/o's gaming habits. Like you I have been gaming for most of my entire life, since Christmas 1990 to be exact. I've played WoW, EVE, SWG, Ultima, Starcraft, Diablo, Halo, and the list keeps going. I once thought that gaming defined me a few years ago and when I finally woke up from this I realized I barely had friends and a job I disliked. After I broke myself free of that, I was generally much happier. My job I disliked turned into the bet paying jobs I've had to work at, and a life where I was in charge of my own destiny. Not my gaming. I technically even met my S/O, who has posted somewhere up above, through WoW and she is one of the most intelligent individuals I have ever met. Does she play WoW? Yes. Do I still play WoW? Yes. It's ignorant people like you that think they are all that and assume that their life is the very reason the world exists that make us turned off to gaming. Wake up and smell the coffee. Your life doesn't define our lives. Your life doesn't determine whether or not gaming is addictive.

All I will is ask you this: If you were moving job to job and making by just to pay rent, would YOU still pay for the games you play? Even if it results in you not eating for a week?
If you answered no, then I am happy because you made a smart decision to prioritize, how do we gamers say it, need before greed.
If you answered yes, then I am sorry for you because you decided to be greedy and get those feelings you desperately needed and failed to put food on the table, pay bills, or do anything else to help keep your life in order.
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Re: Ok seriously??

Postby laroo on Wed Aug 19, 2009 2:21 pm

I remember when I was 25 and knew every damned thing. And did you seriously just say, "Maybe he plays video games because you are fat?"

I take it all back. You are an idiot. :wave
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Re: Ok seriously??

Postby FadedNovelty on Wed Aug 19, 2009 5:14 pm

I've played video games since I was about 10. Video games can be fine, so can drinking and a lot of other things. But when video games or drinking or whatever else becomes number one in your life and you can't stop thinking about it, are upset when you can't do it 24/7... Well that's called an addiction. Awesome that you enjoy gaming. But I'm pretty sure you're never going to get married, or if you do your wife will be completely miserable. Putting video games or any object over a human being makes you pretty worthless. 10 bucks you end up fat, greasy, and alone. Hopefully your video games are enough to keep you company than.
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Re: Ok seriously??

Postby happiness on Thu Aug 20, 2009 1:01 am

Why waste any more time on this ignorant. For all I know this could be a case of

F60.2 Dissocial personality disorder
Personality disorder characterized by disregard for social obligations, and callous unconcern for the feelings of others. There is gross disparity between behaviour and the prevailing social norms. Behaviour is not readily modifiable by adverse experience, including punishment. There is a low tolerance to frustration and a low threshold for discharge of aggression, including violence; there is a tendency to blame others, or to offer plausible rationalizations for the behaviour bringing the patient into conflict with society.
Personality (disorder):
· amoral
· antisocial
· asocial
· psychopathic
· sociopathic
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Re: Ok seriously??

Postby Djorn on Mon Aug 24, 2009 8:52 am

WoWer66 wrote:I for one think that this is a bunch of B.S. and please hear me out before you delete my post or spam me. Seriously? Widow?.

I will start by introducing myself. I have been a gamer for 20 years. I was a pro-gamer for the MLG for 3 years and made a good chunk of money doing so. I have been playing MMOs for about 14 years starting with Ultima Online back in the mid 90s. I have since playing EQ, EQ2, AC, AC2, WoW, SWG, AoC, CoH and more.

That being said.....GAMING IS NOT AN ADDICTION! I do it because I love it. Just like the guy who paints, or works on his car or goes golfing with his buddies. Why does gaming get so much crap? Because its "childish"? Get with the times. Men have always enjoyed their hobbies more than their wives/girlfriends/etc. Its just how it works. Ask any man you see on the street, I can almost promise that atleast 90% of them will tell you they enjoy their most loved hobby more than spending time with their "other".

Fellow gamers, I ask you to unite to fight this horrible insult calling us "addicts". We don't rush on to the computer to play WoW right when we get home from work because we are addicted....we do it because it keeps her off our back and we enjoy it.

Now...before you go insulting me or questioning my view or the weight of my opinions. I am 25 years of age, I am a high-honors high school grad who is a self-employed home owner. I also run my own business. I have been in and out of relationships but hey, havent we all?. And before I start a new relationship I always inform her that she will always come second to my gaming, no questions asked.

There is no rule book saying your partner needs to be first priority in your life. Thats just ignorant. These women who complain about not coming first in their man's life really need to calm down a bit. And also just maybe, take a look at themselves. Maybe, just maybe, the reason that he plays his videogames more than he spends time with you is because that they make him happier than you do. Maybe the problem isnt his....maybe its yours.


A die hard never-ending gamer.


Dude. Chill.

Not every gamer is an addict.

Nobody called you an addict.

You're a gamer, fair play. Be happy.

End of.
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Re: Ok seriously??

Postby MaryBraveBird on Mon Aug 24, 2009 8:55 am

Wow, I never knew being an asshole is a disease. Thanks, happiness :)
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Re: Ok seriously??

Postby JeepChick on Mon Aug 24, 2009 12:25 pm

As a married, fulltime working mother of two.... and also a gamer... I totally support you and your frustration. I've browsed this site some in the past few months. I've found that they aren't talking about gamers... they are talking about addicts. You could take the word gaming or gamer and replace it with just about anything and it would still be an addition.

It is best to focus on the source of the addiction, not the outlet. I think that can be hard to do when you are in the thick of it and feeling second place to a bunch of bells&whistles. It's not the game, or the gaming... it's the lack of self control and personal issues that bring on the excess playing time.

Also, as a longtime female gamer (transitioned from PC to 360 console some years ago) and active member of the ECA, if any of you ever have any questions or would like my unique perspective as a wife and gamer, just let me know. We use gaming as a family activity in our house. Rock Band, Zombies, BattleShip, UNO... everyone gets pumped for Game Night!

Best Regards,
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Re: Ok seriously??

Postby FadedNovelty on Tue Aug 25, 2009 4:01 pm

Sure most people with an addiction have a reason they're addicted. But MMOs make it that much easier to be addicted. Everything about them makes you want to/feel like you have to spend more time playing. They basically set people up to be addicted. So yeah they're fine to play if you can play in moderation, but good luck with that.
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Re: Ok seriously??

Postby Liyet on Tue Aug 25, 2009 4:47 pm

I don't think anyone would suggest that gaming in and of itself is an addiction. It's a stress reliever, a fun time, even a means of social networking. To me, that's not what addiction is about at all. It's when you start spending more and more money on your hobby, when your spend 8 hours or more a day on your hobby, when you'd rather do that hobby than work or spend time with your family. Speaking for myself, I played WoW for two years before I stopped and I do not feel I was addicted to it but I still didn't like the pull of influence it had on my life. It would take presidence over more important things such as spending time with my kids, doing my housework, putting my kids in bed. Those are the most important things in my life and those are things I was missing out on and that I see my husband miss out on. I don't blame the game for the problem at all because it's not the first problem we had. There have been others and it would be totally unfair to blame the game for my husband's behavior. I think if you took the time to read our stories, you might change your tune and not be so defensive about it.
World of Warcraft is my husband's mistress and sometimes that b$%^@ gets all the attention.
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Re: Ok seriously??

Postby skolik on Tue Aug 25, 2009 5:56 pm

Are you serious? "If you truly loved your husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend/w.e. you would respect their desires and passions and love them for who they are/what they have become, not what you want them to be." You honestly feel that way? I would not expect anyone to accept my hobby if it got out of hand to the point where I ignore them and they have to hold out and wait for scraps of me after I finally put down my controler. If someone enters a relationship and is pre warned that's different. I don't play video games but I am into high end audio and classic cars. I would have to be some kind of asshole if it got to the point where I spent 40-80 hrs a week on it and then tell my wife "if you loved me,blah, blah, blah.."
I learned about this group because I have a friend that is married to gamer who puts zombie killing before her and everything.
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Re: Ok seriously??

Postby Shadow Guest on Tue Aug 25, 2009 11:28 pm

JeepChick wrote:As a married, fulltime working mother of two.... and also a gamer... I totally support you and your frustration. I've browsed this site some in the past few months. I've found that they aren't talking about gamers... they are talking about addicts. You could take the word gaming or gamer and replace it with just about anything and it would still be an addition.

It is best to focus on the source of the addiction, not the outlet. I think that can be hard to do when you are in the thick of it and feeling second place to a bunch of bells&whistles. It's not the game, or the gaming... it's the lack of self control and personal issues that bring on the excess playing time.

Also, as a longtime female gamer (transitioned from PC to 360 console some years ago) and active member of the ECA, if any of you ever have any questions or would like my unique perspective as a wife and gamer, just let me know. We use gaming as a family activity in our house. Rock Band, Zombies, BattleShip, UNO... everyone gets pumped for Game Night!

Best Regards,
JeepChick


Firstly, gaming is wonderful. Its expands the imagination, demands critical thinking and problem solving, inspires creativity and even raises coordination and reaction time. Overall, yes, its great source of entertainment with endless forms of storytelling and game play.

Much like yourself, my boyfriend and I enjoy gaming together and with good friends. However, there was a time in our relationship where it became a source of much anguish and resentment. We both had grown up gaming, I was more casual and he was easily described as more intense. It started consuming him, he would dedicate hours he didn't have with his obligation to his hectic college schedule, causing him to fall behind in work. There were even times where gaming was prioritized over me! Slowly it began with neglectful gestures, then the hurtful remarks, and eventually full blown arguments.

When I found this site, still very much confused and seeking answers, I was suddenly given a name to our troubles. I was able to find understanding! Many people here can’t even begin to describe that feeling of relief. Over time we developed a better understanding to the root of our problems--no, gaming was not the source--but did play an essential part. No pun intended.

Since that time we've both gained a lot of perspective and still game together.

Like I have stated in a previous post, the GW community does not slander gaming or its patrons. The name of the site helps to establish a common ground for those reaching out to relate with, not to purposefully offend or hurt gamers.

I certainly understand that being labeled as say, an alcoholic when you just enjoy a drink or two after work is easily considered to be offensive. It is not the intention of the site to warp the label of gamer into one only associated with negative attributes in need of correcting. It is simply the medium of the addict, we often call them gamers because that's simply how they would define themselves and its how we separate them from the large quantity of various addicts. But this site is not one of discriminatory malice and hate.

Hell, maybe we can coin a proper term for them (honestly, I don't think posters would be oppose to the notion.) The guy who has two drinks doesn't want to be called an alcoholic simply due to the fact he consumes beers, just as I imagine healthy gamers do not wish to immediately assumed to be neglectful addicts.

So I do understand your frustrations. Personally, I have little tolerance of narrow minded thinking regarding anything. There are so many groups and individuals that overwhelmingly contend and harass gamers. I honestly believe that this site is not one of those places.

What this boils down to is how you are willing to perceive the site, the original poster clearly sees nothing beyond insult and slander because he chooses to see nothing else or be convinced otherwise.

You've offered a very interesting point that I hope will be considered by the community to become a progressive step forward. :)
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Re: Ok seriously??

Postby acrossthelake on Wed Aug 26, 2009 11:34 am

As a gamer myself, I'm going to actually not stand up and do such a thing. There are definitely addicts out there. I remember playing EQ and a WoW trial and coming across people who seemed to be on all the time. "How do you have the time?" I would ask. Some didn't have jobs(????), others said that's all they did outside of their jobs, others had kids and would have to suddenly "brb" for a second because the baby was crying and then they would be back within 5min and I wondered how one could play WoW that many hours a day when they had an infant, judging by the stories of how exhausting and difficult it is to just find time to shower that I've heard from my parents. I love games--not just computer ones, but all kinds(board games, card games). I love games! I think they're really fun and a great way to spend some of my free time.

But:
I work gaming around a full life---school, other hobbies, friends, family, self-enrichment(working out, reading the NY Times), and my boyfriend, rather than working my life around gaming.
The problem isn't the gamers that enjoy gaming--it can be a hobby, just like you said. But I think these women would also have a problem with a guy who spent 10-15hrs at the golf course, at the possible expense of his job, his offline social relationships, etc.
It's not just that women are whiny and want attention. I don't think they necessarily want 10-15hrs of attention either. It's that they often start relationships with these guys who seem to have something to offer and watch as the guys slip into gaming and suddenly...really have nothing notable or interesting or worthwhile to offer up at all anymore--as a husband, father, etc.

I have a friend whose boyfriend is a gamer---but he works games around his life, rather than his life around games--and she definitely wouldn't call herself a widow. She views it the same way as golfing. A couple times a week, he sits down to play games for a few hours, and she does other stuff. Girls like her aren't the ones on this site. That's the important distinction.
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Re: Ok seriously??

Postby LadyVailen on Wed Aug 26, 2009 8:13 pm

... Oh my :blink


Ok, well before you accuse us anymore of attacking gamers/being bad girlfriends/wives/husbands/to our Other Halves/trying to make our partners stop playing games forever and ever and ever, consider this:


A lot of us are gamers ourselves. Me and my boyfriend play WoW together often, we both love games, it's a fun hobby for us. We still have fun by going out and doing other things too, we have social lives and jobs etc and enjoy life. This site isn't against gamers, it's a place to help people ADDICTED to games, I've actually known a person to freak out and have a panic attack when his favourite RPG game was down for maintenance.

And before you accuse us again of attacking the gamer world, remember YOU'RE the one who came here all guns blazing attacking US for trying to deal with a problem you don't have to put up with. We couln't care less about your gaming habits, this is a place for addicts, people who know addicts and need help and people who want to keep an eye on their own gaming.

You also seem to be very against women, as if you just see us as big giant nag machines. Not all gamers are guys, hell I play games more then my boyfriend! If you looked around the site properly you'd see a lot of guys who have lost their girlfriends to gaming, so stop thinking this is another Women VS Men thing.
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Re: Ok seriously??

Postby RazorJack on Fri Jan 08, 2010 1:28 pm

Oh my dear WoWer66,

Enjoy your games sir, that's all you're going to have.. but I'm sure you're fine with that. buhbye now :wave
You've leveled up, but your family is still on pause.
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Re: Ok seriously??

Postby LSM on Fri Jan 08, 2010 1:57 pm

WoWer66 wrote:It wasnt ramble or flaming. But what about the guy who golfs every morning? Or the guy who works 15 hours a day 6-7 days a week (A "working" man). No one gets as much flack about it as gamers.


I'm jealous of golf widows. Their SOs can only play during daylight hours. My MIL is a golf widow. Yet FIL still goes shopping with her, talks to her, goes out to dinner with her, hell, just goes for a walk with her. They have a life together as well as him having his hobby. Because whilst she's still working full time as a head teacher, he's retired. And when she retires, she already has her hobbies lined up so that they can continue to do their own thing and still have a life together. Because if you're in a relationship, your SO always comes first.

WoWer66 wrote:There is nothing wrong with gaming. If you find it to be the most important thing to you, so be it. I know I do. And don't complain if the person you are with feels the same way I do. If you truly loved your husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend/w.e. you would respect their desires and passions and love them for who they are/what they have become, not what you want them to be.


You're right. There's nothing wrong with gaming. I used to test games for a living. It was a good living. But there is something very wrong with losing your home, business, family etc. to the virtual world. It's one thing to love someone for what they are. It's quite another to watch them change. To see the withdraw into the virtual world, to tell you they don't have time to sort out the guttering that's causing their children's bedroom walls to be wet through because they're spending 14-18 hours a day playing a game.

WoWer66 wrote:To the person who said I made a stupid comment for saying I would never put a girl over my games. Well that is your opinion. My videogames have been a part of my life for 20 years. And that will do nothing but continue to legnthen. There is not one single person who I could meet who could possibly match that.


Best you stay selfish and single then.

WoWer66 wrote:Let me tell you a little story about a situation I encountered about 13 years ago. It was my best friends Dad that introduced me into Ultima Online back in 1995. He played about 10-15 hours a day. So did I and my friend. One morning before his wife (now ex) went to work she told him. Its me or the game, you decide. When she got home from work that day the door to his computer room was locked, her bags were packed and there was a note saying "Easy choice, have a nice life". To this day I applaud him for standing up for his own passions and what he believed in and not let another human being try to force him out of it. Ill say it like I said in my frist post. If you S/O is choosing a videogame (hell, any hobby) over you, then maybe its not them....maybe you are not providing the way you should resulting in them not desiring to spend any time with you any longer. (And women, [and I only say this because this is one of the things I have heard], if your husband/boyfriend picked up this gaming "addiction" right around the same time you "put on some weight" then STOP BLAMING HIM! You have your reason right there. I have heard that so many times on talk shows/forums. "Well it happened shortly after I put on some weight"....well....your brain works right? Think for a second. Its not hard. 1+1=2. His so called addiction if your replacement.


I'd put it the other way round. Good for her for making him finally make a grown up choice. How successful is he now? Compared to her? And now look at what you've said. We should love our SOs unconditionally. Ok. Then why put the condition on us not to put on weight or change our hair to a style you collectively are not so keen on. Don't we deserve to be loved unconditionally too?
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Re: Ok seriously??

Postby PirateJohn on Tue May 04, 2010 11:57 pm

WoWer66 wrote:I will start by introducing myself. I have been a gamer for 20 years. I was a pro-gamer for the MLG for 3 years and made a good chunk of money doing so.

"Good work if you can get it."

Sure, there are people that can make careers -- lucrative careers -- out of gaming. But those are the minority. When people eschew personal responsibility for the sake of a game, that's when it becomes a problem.

WoWer66 wrote:That being said.....GAMING IS NOT AN ADDICTION!

This is true. Gaming is not an addiction. Addiction is an addiction.

The same could be said about a lot of things -- gambling, pornography, etc. Most people who use such things do so responsibly. It only becomes a problem when it causes you to neglect other, more important things in your life.

WoWer66 wrote:Why does gaming get so much crap?

Same reason gambling does. Because there is a critical mass of people who really do destroy their lives over it. Does that mean every gamer or gambler has a problem? Of course not. This board is for those who do.

WoWer66 wrote:Men have always enjoyed their hobbies more than their wives/girlfriends/etc. Its just how it works.

If that's true, then remain single. Everybody's happy that way. But if you get married -- and especially have kids -- then you have a responsibility that is far more important than any hobby.

WoWer66 wrote:Ask any man you see on the street, I can almost promise that atleast 90% of them will tell you they enjoy their most loved hobby more than spending time with their "other".

How does the "other" feel about that?

WoWer66 wrote:Fellow gamers, I ask you to unite to fight this horrible insult calling us "addicts".

Nobody is calling all gamers addicts.

WoWer66 wrote:We don't rush on to the computer to play WoW right when we get home from work because we are addicted....we do it because it keeps her off our back and we enjoy it.

If you need to keep her off your back then why are you married?
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