Going to bed at the same time.

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Re: Going to bed at the same time.

Postby bearhugs81 on Mon Jan 19, 2009 4:31 pm

Okay, so, this is a huge bone of contention between me and DH. I totally feel like going to bed at the same time is important or at least within 15-20 minutes of each other. I really like having that time to watch the news together or a good tv show or maybe just talk about the day and move on to "other" things. :snuggle

DH says he doesn't see the point to coming to bed at the same time, and he needs the time to practice his game or do tournaments. :headscratch Well, on the nights that he actually has come to bed at the same time, I am completely annoyed because I know he's not doing it to spend time with me. I say this because he has on occasion acted as though he is going to sleep with me, we "get it on", and he waits til I'm alseep to leave and play the game. I just find that to be like a stab in the back; it's so selfish and manipulative.

There are times when I just wish he had his own bedroom across the house from me where he could just do whatever and I didn't have to know when he went to bed.

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Re: Going to bed at the same time.

Postby Troi on Mon Feb 09, 2009 8:32 am

I think going to bed at the same time is a special time and is important as well but unfortunately it doesn't happen very often here now( unless I fall asleep on the sofa and he wakens me when he's finished)

I hate going to bed on my own but now I've gotten used to it...I'm done with the crying and stressing....not much choice really as at the weekend he stays up until 3-4am playing wow.
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Re: Going to bed at the same time.

Postby rsangel64 on Mon Feb 09, 2009 8:49 pm

I prefer him to come to bed with me, at least cuddle with me until I fall asleep. I like the cuddling, seeing how we dont see each other all day.
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Re: Going to bed at the same time.

Postby phnxzlil1 on Mon Feb 09, 2009 9:34 pm

It is very very important to me, but I very often get the I'll be in in a minute and I hear the front door open and he'll go out for a cigarette (GROSS) and then I'll hear the chair move and him plunk right back down into it. I don't want to hear anymore "in a minutes", but I put up with it, and I shouldn't! I think I have told you all about our situation that we are living with his parents. I have decided that I want to change the situation and hopefully if finances permit move out, thus much like the sleeping in seperate rooms if I have a place of my own him coming there would be different and would add a different dynamic to our relationship, it would likely remind him of "the good ole days", and oh oops there aren't any pc games. :clap

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Re: Going to bed at the same time.

Postby Alex89 on Mon Mar 09, 2009 2:53 pm

I usually have to go to bed at about 9 30 - 10 for work, so he'll play wow in bed whist I go to sleep. Actually I don't mind that, 10 is a ridiculous bedtime if you don't have to be up early the next day, and atleast he's next to me in bed whilst I sleep.
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Re: Going to bed at the same time.

Postby newlywedwidow on Wed Mar 11, 2009 12:15 am

Mine goes to bed with me. I have this problem only on our days off. I work an on 6 off 2 rotation so 1 out of our 2 days off I will go to bed without him, but that isn't much so it doesn't bother me.
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Re: Going to bed at the same time.

Postby Ender on Sat Mar 28, 2009 3:11 am

I think that it is important to go to bed at the same time as your significant other. However, the fact of the matter is that this won't happen 100% of the time whether that means they are working on schoolwork or work work.

I will say that finally laying down with that significant other of mine after a long day of work is a feeling that I enjoy every moment I can. As for the gaming, I think that it is a bad sign when that significant other plays his/her game for several hours after bed.
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Re: Going to bed at the same time.

Postby alexishope on Wed Oct 14, 2009 9:33 am

:sredit My husband is recovering from his gaming addiction - and until just this past month I couldn't get him to come to bed with me at the same time (which was still late). In fact, for a few years I couldn't fall asleep if he DID come to bed with me because I got so used to sleeping alone!!! Over 20 years of marriage, I BEGGED him to come to bed...and probably 1 night a week he would. Since the crap hit the fan on Sept 1st and I confronted him on his behavior(addiction), he has come to bed with me every single night!
He requires only 6 hours of sleep a night - I require 7 or 8. He has been waking up before the alarm clock - which is irrating him. When he was gaming, he would sleep only 2 or 3 hours before work, come home from work and sleep 3 hours, get up to game, etc. It was a horrible lonely existence for me. He is recovering, and I will stand behind him. I don't want to see him backslide and the behavior to go back to the past days where I slept alone with no physical contact what so ever!

Now we talk, cuddle, fool around, a sleep peacefully - together. No WOW, NO VENTRILLO, NO "virtual friends" to contend with!

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Re: Going to bed at the same time.

Postby eqwidow28 on Thu Oct 15, 2009 10:59 pm

Going to bed at the same time is meaningful to me. I enjoy just cuddling for a few minuets and then rolling over and falling asleep and I will sleep good! I am only 23 and I am in a relationship with a Jobless Gamer Who games all day and then I work. Not to mention I am 12 weeks Pregnant with his baby. He can be very inconsiderate at times. I do love him but sometimes I get so fed up and upset at him for wanting to play Everquest 2 all the time. He hangs out with me for a few hours after I get off work but as soon as 7:15 rolls around he is right back to get ready for Raid. He then Raid until around 11 or 11:30 and gets off. He then wants to go watch some Tv with me but by that time I am so tired and want to just go to sleep. I have to wake up at 7 am and get ready for work. He gets upset at me If i ask him to go lay down for just a little bit. He says no he isn't tired (that's because he sleeps in until 11 everday and gets up and hops on the computer and sits on his ass until I get home). He doesn't do anything all day but game and look up Porn. I know this because I got nosey one day. Anyways He will usually stay up and watch tv until 2 and I will lay alone. Hurt, Upset, Emotional from being pregnant and I just want my Bf to be there for me and reassure me everything is still fine. Most of the time I worry and can't fall asleep until he comes to bed. I am always tired for work sometimes Late because I get like 5 hours of sleep and do this most of the week he raid. Which is sun-thurs 7:30 to 11:30. Anyways I am sorry to rant and rave. Needed to vent a little. If he would just come lay down with me and not be selfish for once I might be happier and Nicer to him. I hope he realizes this sometime soon. Before the baby is here. I want that loving, caring man back.
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Re: Going to bed at the same time.

Postby wowha8er on Fri Jan 01, 2010 11:45 pm

It is very important to me going to bed together! I have spent many a night alone in bed after my husband would say "I'll be right in" I hate that! He has been doing better but I know if it's raid night I came hang it up, he ain't coming to bed with me unless I happen to stay up late! :wave
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Re: Going to bed at the same time.

Postby LSM on Mon Jan 04, 2010 11:27 am

It's very important to me too. Sadly it hardly ever happens because I usually end up falling asleep on the couch waiting for him to decide to stop playing (usually between 1 and 2am). Since I have to get up in the morning to see to the animals (we have a smallholding) and the kids I need to get to bed before that time. But I end up having a blanket thrown over me and I'm in desperate need of an osteopath as a result. Except that we can't afford it because he's playing so much that we're losing money.

Oo! Sorry. went off on one a bit there :)
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Re:

Postby EVEWIDOW2 on Wed Jan 06, 2010 8:13 pm

Suga306 wrote:my boyfriend isnt too bad when it come to goin to bed at the same time but recently its getting later and later, b4 it used to be- i'll be there in 10 minutes after this raid now its like 2-3 hours.

I go to bed crying sometimes, it almost like hes cheating on me with this game. i mean he spends more time with it, he seems to smile more when hes playing then he does when hes with me, he seems to talk to the people on the game more than in real life. i mean it does feel like hes cheating on me with a video game!

And even when we do go to bed together in the rare ocassion- we have nothing to talk about coz all his conversation is WOW. thats all he talks about- i mean this isnt healthy is it?!


I feel like this also. :jeebus
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Re: Going to bed at the same time.

Postby PS3_Girlfriend on Wed Jan 27, 2010 2:47 pm

I feel the same. I always end up falling asleep with the cat while my bf plays his game. it makes me crazy!
Sometimes I can coax him away from his game to watch tv with me in bed, but that's maybe once a week.. :( and I'm normally so tired that I fall asleep straight away!
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Re: Going to bed at the same time.

Postby xX_Amber_Xx on Wed Jan 27, 2010 5:53 pm

I was the sort of person who went to bed crying if he wasn't there with me because it was his 'screen time'. NHL2010 is the culprit on this one. It wasn't really because he was playing but because he would say "one more game" or something.

Sleeping together is extremely important to me, because it's quiet, I can have some semblance of talk time before we both pass out... I have nightmares all the time so it's comforting.

The real problem is when I'm online while he's on his game, trying to pass time on MY game. It feeds MY supposed 'addiction' (i say addiction because he always accuses me of having one and lately I feel like I've definitely kicked the habit, but don't want to count my eggs) and I want to stay up so we can fall asleep together so badly that I'll stay awake until 1am - which is my limit. Even then, when he used to keep gaming till 6am, I'd be awake or have a restless sleep.

I guess I'm just trying to say that I kind of need that closenes.
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Re: Going to bed at the same time.

Postby PS3_Girlfriend on Wed Jan 27, 2010 6:30 pm

Ugh, "one more game"... christ, whenever he says "one more game" I'm just like "yeah, whatever" :rolleyes :grumble
I think he's blaming you for being online too much because he has no excuse for his own behaviour. I write a blog, and my bf said that i spend too much time writing.. omg, i nearly killed him.. i'm not up all hours of the night writing or yelling obscenities at total strangers.
i've resorted to leaving the TV on, and a lot of nights I've fallen asleep with my glasses on my head.. and woken up with them still on.. like does he not even look at me before he turns all the lights and the TV off to see that I've left my glasses?!
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Re: Going to bed at the same time.

Postby xX_Amber_Xx on Wed Jan 27, 2010 9:20 pm

PS3_Girlfriend wrote:Ugh, "one more game"... christ, whenever he says "one more game" I'm just like "yeah, whatever" :rolleyes :grumble
I think he's blaming you for being online too much because he has no excuse for his own behaviour. I write a blog, and my bf said that i spend too much time writing.. omg, i nearly killed him.. i'm not up all hours of the night writing or yelling obscenities at total strangers.
i've resorted to leaving the TV on, and a lot of nights I've fallen asleep with my glasses on my head.. and woken up with them still on.. like does he not even look at me before he turns all the lights and the TV off to see that I've left my glasses?!


The yelling is the worst! And I need silence and darkness to really sleep and he leaves his game on all night or puts on sports unless I demand the remote and switch it to music or the history channel so I can pass out somehow. :(

I feel your pain.
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Re: Going to bed at the same time.

Postby PS3_Girlfriend on Wed Jan 27, 2010 9:47 pm

thankfully we have 2 rooms - one being his "gaming man-cave"... it's good because the yelling is quietened.. but it means that he doesnt know that i'm already in bed/sleeping.
if he played his game in our bedroom, at least i'd have an excuse to make him stop! then we could go to bed at the same time! :)
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Re: Going to bed at the same time.

Postby xX_Amber_Xx on Thu Jan 28, 2010 12:45 am

Yeah, you'd change your mind pretty fast though assuming he's anything like my s/o and wont stop for anything.
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Re: Going to bed at the same time.

Postby PS3_Girlfriend on Thu Jan 28, 2010 12:12 pm

hm.. good point!!! "one more game"!!!
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Re: Going to bed at the same time.

Postby xX_Amber_Xx on Thu Jan 28, 2010 9:10 pm

PS3_Girlfriend wrote:hm.. good point!!! "one more game"!!!


So, I told him that I'd like him to only play on nights when he has no class in the morning (since he missed both classes today), and I think he's starting to 'get it'. :D
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Re: Going to bed at the same time.

Postby ff8abby on Thu Dec 16, 2010 10:51 am

Sometimes we go to bed at the same time, but more often than not, he ends up staying awake til morning on WoW and waking up late... I'm an easily annoyed person so that rarely flies well for me... I would prefer if he didn't stay up so late on days where we have something planned out already.
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Hey

Postby TLSubmit on Sun May 08, 2011 12:48 am

Hey im new here.

Nice to meet everyone!
Hope you all have a good day
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Re: Going to bed at the same time.

Postby shabarrows on Thu May 12, 2011 5:57 pm

Hugely important to me. I'm a really light sleep so Boyfriend always wakes me up if he comes to bed after... which he does often, unfortunatly. It's always game related too.
This could be inappropriate, but... He complains about a lack of intimacy a lot. What other time of day does he think we're going to be intimate? I'm a part-time student/part-time teacher. It's all early mornings and long afternoons/evenings for me.
But, since it's getting warmer here, I can deal just fine without another body heating up the bed. :p
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Re: Going to bed at the same time.

Postby Terra on Thu May 19, 2011 7:43 am

Truthfully, we've never had a normal sleep schedule. He's always been a night owl, even when we were dating he often slept at different times than I did. What really bothers me though is when he pulls all nighters playing games and then lies to me and says it's insomnia. When I wake up and find him still awake with about 12 empty soda cans around him, it's not insomnia. It's him staying up all night chugging caffeine so he can stay awake and do what he wants.

Typically when he pulls this I don't let him sleep if I need him during the day. I have no problems with waking him up. I know it's harsh, but I didn't sign on for an absent partner. If I need him, he will help me and suffer for being irresponsible the night before. I don't ever deny him help and I want the same courtesy myself.

So I'd say it's not so important that we go to bed at the exact same time, but it is important that he not stay up all night to play games. If anyone understands insomnia, it's me. I had many many sleepless nights when he was in Iraq, I'd go to sleep and wake up 30 minutes later with anxiety. The only thing that ever helped put me to sleep was Johnson and Johnson's Lavender sleep time baby wash. I'd soak in it and it'd help ease the anxiety. But because of this, I also know that there is a difference between staying up all night playing, and actual real insomnia.

It's been so long now since I've had someone regularly next to me in bed, that I just don't sleep well at all if I have to share. If he were to come to bed regularly I'm sure I'd acclimate, but as things stand I don't really see that happening.

And now here's a dancing elephant because it's been dancing at me the entire time I've been writing this and I'm just dying to use it. :sredit
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Re: Going to bed at the same time.

Postby hootyr13 on Fri May 20, 2011 11:22 am

I loved going to bed the same time as my husband, we would chat, laugh, snuggle then fall asleep, it was my favorite time of day, to connect again after long day, but since he games so much, I used to be upset when he didn't come to bed right away, now I don't care when he comes to bed because when he does, we are so far apart on the bed, it is a wonder he doesn't fall off, I remember when he used to wake up in the middle of the night and roll over and pull me to him, I LOVED it...be does not do that anymore :(
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