Men and their different masks!!!

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Men and their different masks!!!

Postby hoodedvixen on Fri Nov 28, 2008 11:07 am

So I need a little room to rant today. I am so disappointed in my husband and I just cant seem to understand the male species in general.

Ok let me elaborate. My husband was going for a drink after work as a farewell to a colleague. I dont have a problem with it but I do tell him to watch how much he drinks because with Christmas being around the corner the cops are out in full force and I refuse to bail him out for being drunk and over the legal alcohol limit. He told me he was only going to have one alcoholic drink. I didnt ask him to he said he would because he had promised himself that is all he was having. After watching a show on drunk drivers he didnt want to end up in that position. Well needless to say he didnt have just one but he had 3. Not a lot I am well aware but still over the legal limit. I asked him why he had the other 2 when he said he wouldn't. Typical answer "I was forced to". So my question is what is it with men?When they are with their friends they change completely. My husband barely drinks at home but if he goes out with friend then he has like 6 or 7 drinks. Yet when we go out to a restaurant etc he might only have one sometimes none. So what is the hold that men have over eachother? Is it an ego thing? How can a person be so different in the company of others? I look at him during those times and dont know who the person standing next to me is. Its like he puts on a different mask and becomes someone else.

I am just so disappointed in him. I cant believe he can be so easily influenced.
Last edited by hoodedvixen on Sat Nov 29, 2008 12:15 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Men and their different masks!!!

Postby Psykiblue on Fri Nov 28, 2008 11:41 am

my husband does this.

Not with alcohol but with food. Like if he's out with family or friends and they offer him something sugary/sweet and its bad for him he doesn't refuse.

He says its because he feels bad, and I tell him he has to grow a thicker skin. He's trying to lose weight and stay away from sugar, so eating that does not help.

*hugs*
I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary; the evil it does is permanent.

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Re: Men and their different masks!!!

Postby Neglected on Fri Nov 28, 2008 1:07 pm

This is an interesting topic for me at the moment as well. I was almost thinking this same exact thing as you hooded just the other night.

Another grand aspect of this scenario for me is “you can tell me no, but you can’t tell your friends, family, anyone you meet on the street…NO?” What’s up with that?

His friends come around usually for just 3 reasons. Get high, get drunk or barrow money. They never just visit. It’s to bring something or do something. And, he always does more than what he should when they are around.

Male bonding or some social stature, of course being a woman, I don’t know. I feel like saying, grow up. It’s pretty bad when a male is doing enough bad things that they feel they have the need to hide it from the kids. Isn’t it supposed to be the other way around…the kids hiding stuff from the parent? I feel it’s that way with gaming, alcohol, drugs, porn or whatever.

Sorry that happened to you hooded. I know it wasn’t a lot that he did, it’s more about just the fact that he did it.
I can understand that.
:hug
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Re: Men and their different masks!!!

Postby hoodedvixen on Fri Nov 28, 2008 2:50 pm

I agree with you totally Psyki. These men need to grow some thick skin and start thinking for themselves and stop giving into peer pressure.

I also agree with you Neglected. I just dont get it. It is obviously a male thing. You are right though about the fact that it was not how much but the fact that he had made the promise not to. I said to him that he mustn't promise if he cant keep it because I believe that if you make a promise you should stick by it. He said that I could trust him. I said that he was setting himself up because if he didnt do as he said he would be breaking that trust. Well we all know what has happened. He tried so hard to justify his actions and I calmly told him that he needs to live with the guilt not me so he should justify it to himself because I was not going to condone the action.

Thanks for the support ladies. Glad to know someone else gets what I mean.

Psyki I hope your husband manages to stay away from the sweet goodies. :hug

Neglected I hope your situation improves. Its not nice seeing someone you love being used and in the same token allowing themselves to be used. I really appreciate your understanding and kind words. You have been a great help over the past month that I have been here. :hug
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Re: Men and their different masks!!!

Postby FarleySC on Sat Nov 29, 2008 9:24 am

Food for thought:

I don't know what the legal limit is there, and I don't condone drinking and driving. Myself I will not drive if I've had more than 3 beers in a 2 hour period.

In Canada the legal limit is .08 (80mg of alcohol per 100 ml of blood). Also, most officers will not press charges until a reading of .10 is displayed on their equipment because of a +/- 2% error. This translates into 6 beers (12 oz each at 5% alcohol per volume) over a two hour period for a 200lb man before he would be considered intoxicated. The body gets rid of 15mg of alcohol per hour from the time you drink the first drink, so in two full hours, the body would have eliminated 30mg. So at 5 drinks in 2 hours the level in the blood stream would be 78 (awfully close) the 6th drink would put him at 100 mg and he would have to wait an additional hour and a half before his liver could have eliminated enough of the alcohol for him to be just under the limit. (3 1/2 hours total)

AVERAGE MALE
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These are all theoretical numbers, the amount of food you've consumed, your age, the condition of your liver and other factors come into play. Trying to do the math in your head and figure out if you can drive or not is probably not a good idea as you'll just end up getting pulled over and blowing over the limit and loosing your license. But an ounce of knowledge is a good thing when it comes to the law.
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Re: Men and their different masks!!!

Postby hoodedvixen on Sat Nov 29, 2008 11:10 am

Thanks for the info Farley. Here in South Africa the legal limit is 0.05 and he had consumed a beer, a tequila shot and a Jagermeister in less than 2 hours on an empty stomach. It wasn't so much about being over the limit it was just the fact he made a promise and didnt stick to it.
But thanks for clarifying that anyway. It is some good info and will come in handy :)
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