We quit! End game raiders perspective of WoW

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We quit! End game raiders perspective of WoW

Postby Lyoness on Thu Jan 05, 2006 1:17 am

The following is a story by a member of the WoW_widow yahoo group, his story is amazing!

--------
Hi All,

Well I must say it's good to find this group and know it exists! It is
certainly comforting to find people out there who have been in similar
situations. From my own personal experiences, when you are immersed in
WoW (and especially the attitude and actions of the people around you)
you are fairly isolated from the real world, and your own thoughts and
attitude change so much without you noticing.

Hopefully, this story gives another view or insight into the mind and
events of the WoW addict while they are immersed in the game. I felt
compelled to share my story.

My Wife has always been interested and to some extent played small
online role playing games occasionally. Eventually she managed to get
me involved which seemed initially alright, considering we were
playing together. When WoW was released though, it changed everything.
The game is extremely addictive and the mechanics and interactions,
work skills effectively determine great amounts of your time. Some
would say no, you can control your time in WoW and getting addicted is
your own lack of self control. I disagree with this statement for a
variety of reasons, from leveling your character to the 60 limit,
maybe..... although for the end game content (molten core and other
dungeons), it is designed to ensure you need forty people to perform
these tasks cohesively which takes a whole weekend, sometimes 6-10
hours each day. These encounters are designed as such if you
leave/retract your attention from certain important events for even a
short period of time (for example to talk to your wife or even go to
the toilet); it negatively affects the whole `raid' (the forty people
group). You can end up being responsible for the whole `raid' failing.

The quality of the items and rewards found in these dungeons far
outweighs anything available outside, so this is mainly a self driven
incentive to spend copious amount of time in these dungeons earning
`points' to be able to spend on these items when they finally appear.
Bearing in mind, these epic items have a percentage drop rate, meaning
it may take months of attendance (every weekend!) to even see a
particular item you are after appear. Even then, you need to bid
against another person and have the points available (accumulated from
your constant commitment) to be eligible for the item. As you can see,
to get the better edge and experience the end game content requires a
massive time investment. We ended spending nine months living like
this just focused on doing end game content.

After finding the lack of content when our characters became level 60
(the highest game level available), we joined a `guild' that
specialized in end game content. These raid dungeons demand excessive
time (as explained above), and including preparation of materials as a
pre-requisite. I found our eating habits had changed, the issues
encountered in my work and family life I would avoid, and play the
game instead. My friends, forget them… play the game instead.. sickies
at work…stay home and play the game. I'd play the game at any spare
time I had. At the time, being in close vicinity to work, I would even
travel home to actually check on the status on auctions in the game
during my lunch time.

It even got to the stage, where a good friend of mine would ring my
bell at my flat, I would see that it was him, and decide I couldn't be
bothered seeing him as there are more important and enjoyable
activities happening in the game at the time... so I would just ignore
that he even rang the bell. I deeply regret these actions, which at
the time seemed to me perfectly acceptable. I'd think about the
excuses that playing WoW is keeping me from drinking etc... It's a
safe recreational activity. I'm sure everyone has heard these excuses
before.

Furthermore, these `dungeon raids' would determine when I should be
playing. I would dedicate weekends and weeknights. You were scheduled
to attend certain times by the raid leaders; I really had no decision
when I wanted to play anymore. If you decided not to attend, it was
looked upon negatively and you were also judged on attendance record
and performance during the raids. Bad attendance or `lack of
commitment' by not turning up to every `raid' resulted in expulsion
from the guild. Attendance thresholds were at 90%! Whole weekends
would pass without evening seeing the sun, (and still dressed in my
bed clothes) and skipping meals mostly only having one meal per day…
which was just something that `had to be done'. Although after we had
eaten in the evening, soon after we ended up back in the game.

Every day after work, every weekend was consumed by playing WoW. There
were guild commitments and events happening every night of the week.
Surprisingly, I was starting to get frustrated with certain things in
the game, mainly the repetition and requirements which in turn
demanded too much time. I'd found the others I would interact with,
were really only there for selfish reasons (i.e. the rewards found in
these dungeons) and the attitude and treatment towards others was
horrible. Fair enough, people would argue it's just a game and people
do and act however they want. Although, to me I would respect that
there are other people sitting behind these keyboards, and treat
others with respect. Since there was the ability to have voice chat
with other guild members, the argumentative nature of issues and
problems discussed was very heated. Imagine these people were tearing
each other apart on these voice conferences over virtual objects and
power play. Eventually we ended up only spending time with a handful
of people we had met… although even this was repetitive the fun was
certainly disappearing. People feel a certain amount of empowerment in
the game, and can dabble in leadership and many other things that may
be unattainable opportunities and experiences or social connections in
their real lives, so they feel comfortable and powerful in their
gaming community and would never leave.

We once met up with some fellow gamers (another married couple) for a
late lunch at a local restaurant, and in some ways at the time it was
refreshing to actually do something social again (however crazy this
sounds). Although that day, something struck me quite hard. The fellow
gaming couple, sharply stopped the social time with us.. having to
leave as soon as they had their meal and ` get back for an arranged
dungeon activity' that they had organized. I thought to myself… hey we
arranged to sit down eat a meal and have fun, and they are leaving to
go back to the game. Once we arrived back home, literally a 15 minute
walk, we also decided to log into the game and see what was happening.
Five or so minutes later the couple was in WoW again. I thought to
myself… they must have driven quickly or even run red lights to get
back to their home (the normal travel distance is about 40 minutes).
The husband even admitted his wife was driving extremely fast to get
back and by the sounds of things even taking risks on the road to get
back to the game.

This event made me reflect on our own actions, and our own lives… and
we started to step back and face what we were doing to our lives.
Questioned our motives and enjoyment in the game, and furthermore were
we happy with how we were living.

Honestly, sometimes I wonder what was keeping me in the game; I
actually got to the stage where I disliked it, and the people in it.
Although, it was strange that I just keep resorting to play it even
though I started to hate it.

The interactions with others seemed to really be the only thing left
keeping me interested in the game. Although, we learned after we quit,
people were really only interested in the loss of contribution, as the
roles of our characters were apparently `important to the guild' for
them to attain certain things. They found it impossible to understand
why you would blatantly quit permanently after over a year of time and
effort into your characters.

We spent three weeks away from the game, and it was the best thing we
ever did. I started to exercise more and spend time with that
particular friend who had been persistent with me for the past year,
started playing piano and guitar again (the amount of dust on my
musical instruments was crazy) Although, I've found he really is the
only remaining friend now. The other friendships are damaged and
unfortunately to some extent lost. Hopefully time will heal. Although,
this is a result of my own actions and stupidity, and something I accept.

I felt the best thing for us was to cancel the accounts, get rid of
the CDs, and delete any remaining internet bookmarks in web browsers,
and files relating to the game and the game itself from our PCs. Now
we are trying to get our lives back in order.

In summary, the end game content of WoW demands so much of your time.
This includes preparing and `farming money' to pay for materials
required for these dungeon encounters…and the dungeon encounters them
selves.

Thanks again and I sincerely hope this will help someone out there.
Founder of GamerWidow.com

Please feel free to become a contributing author to the site! Email me at lyoness@gamerwidow.com if you are interested. :)
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Postby green_ayana on Thu Jan 05, 2006 1:53 pm

thanks for re-posting this, lyoness! it was a great read.

gloomyish has been pretty great about play-time since he un-cancelled his account, and it hasn't been a problem.

buttttttt

he just reached level 59 :look

i'm scared of the end-game stuff of doom. he says he has no interest in it and that it won't be a problem. gosh, i hope that sticks :\
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Postby gloomyish on Thu Jan 05, 2006 9:09 pm

green_ayana wrote:thanks for re-posting this, lyoness! it was a great read.

gloomyish has been pretty great about play-time since he un-cancelled his account, and it hasn't been a problem.

buttttttt

he just reached level 59 :look

i'm scared of the end-game stuff of doom. he says he has no interest in it and that it won't be a problem. gosh, i hope that sticks :\


trust me, you have nothing to worry about. :) i play the game, the game does not play me. :p
i like games
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Postby green_ayana on Fri Jan 06, 2006 12:16 am

gloomyish wrote:trust me, you have nothing to worry about. :) i play the game, the game does not play me. :p


:)


wait, is that like "don't hate the playa, hate the game"??




...did i just say playa? :look
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Postby Lyoness on Fri Jan 06, 2006 12:28 am

green_ayana wrote:wait, is that like "don't hate the playa, hate the game"??


...did i just say playa? :look



:lol LOL!


You know....Laz wasn't much into the pvp madness before either, but he's into it now that his alt is at lvl 60. Lately it's been getting worse and worse BUT the other day he surprised me by telling me was going to stop playing during the hours that we can spend together (like 2-9pm) and only play when he gets home from work before going to bed (4-7am). :) So yay for hubbys controlling their OWN gametime!!!!!!!!!! :joy
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Postby green_ayana on Fri Jan 06, 2006 12:37 am

Lyoness wrote:You know....Laz wasn't much into the pvp madness before either, but he's into it now that his alt is at lvl 60. Lately it's been getting worse and worse BUT the other day he surprised me by telling me was going to stop playing during the hours that we can spend together (like 2-9pm) and only play when he gets home from work before going to bed (4-7am). :) So yay for hubbys controlling their OWN gametime!!!!!!!!!! :joy


awwwwww that's so great!!! :hug

yay for our mens!!! :clap :D :clap
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Postby Lyoness on Fri Jan 06, 2006 12:38 am

tee hee!! :hug
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This article...

Postby Proppe on Mon Jan 30, 2006 4:34 pm

I love this site <3 I read some article in the gazette, I realize how addicted I am and how pathetic I felt, so I come here and I read THIS. It has opened my eyes. It has freed me of the obsessive bonds of World of Warcraft (Not enteriely, I play about an hour a day to keep my friends pacified). As soon as they get bored of the game (I just made them get it before the article came out :'( I suck lol), I'll encourage them to quit and we'll never have to play another one of these MMORPGs again. I'll have to do what I did to Diablo II... quit after 2 years of playing O_O It's hard!
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Postby Lyoness on Tue Jan 31, 2006 2:33 pm

Proppe :welcome! :)

I'm so glad that we could help you break free of the habit!! :) :clap It's hard but you can do it!! Please do stop by the REHAB room as it has loads of useful info for people trying to quit.

:hug
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Postby snowflakeprincess on Wed Feb 01, 2006 10:26 am

*sighs* Molten Core :P... my boy got to level 60, then got into raiding, especailly MC raids.. and brags about the fact he has more attendance points then anyone else in his group, which tells me... hes been to more raids, and plays more then anyone else in his group :P but he knows it bothers me and hopefully with his new shift, we'll be able to make some time before he raids..
"When the first child laughed for the first time, the laugh broke into a thousand pieces and they all went skipping about, and that was the beginning of faeries."
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Postby lorenfisher on Thu Feb 16, 2006 7:35 pm

wow is a horribly designed game. it is crap. especially the endgame.

it's not a bad game from levels 1 to 59 though.

blizzard is putting in more things for casual gamers like the ability to go on quests to get purple items typically only found in molten core type areas. All in all, though, it is too little too late. The features they are releasing now, like rain and snow effects, should have been in from day 1. Not that these features actually matter to what's important (and what's causing the addiction) - gameplay.
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Postby Imtwin64 on Tue Feb 21, 2006 11:46 pm

I have been married almost 4 years to a gamer. Problem is, he's in denial!
We rarely even get out of the house. I hate it. I was going to college (non-traditional student, I might add!) so for a while I never realized how much he gamed, nor did I have time to notice, working full time and carrying 15 hours of college courses. Ouch! We're in the baby-boomer category -- uh, that means 40's! When do these gamers grow up anyway? LOL
Funny enough, he showed me an article about this site tonight. So, I decided I'd join. He was absolutely shocked. I had to laugh. He said, "I'm not like the rest of them. They are worse." Okay, so what's worse? LOL He ordered another online game tonight.... he did ask -- but heck, what are you gonna say to that? It's hopeless anyway.
Anyway, love this site. Only wish I would have thought of doing this first!
Great job...
Widow of a Wow (etc) player in Denial!!!
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Postby Raptoe on Wed Feb 22, 2006 5:21 am

It is a choice a gamer makes..
I am level 57 now on my night elf and did run some instances.. However the choice what you are going to do is up to you. I wanted a casual raid guild so I joined one, these people raid every week and only ask you to attend when you really want too and when it fits into your schedule...

In the end we can easily blame Blizzard for the game they created, but it is up to the gamer themself wether they are drawn into it or not. The player makes the choice and not the company.

A lot of the endgame stuff does require a lot of money, but never does it say that you need to farm 8 hours every day. End game content can be done/ tackled in an healthy way.. Hell I have two friends (ex-GM's) why are in casual gameguilds as they want to just see wow as a hobby.

now gimme t3h epi1cs!
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Hold infinity in the palm of your hand, And eternity in an hour.
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Postby Merrick on Mon Feb 27, 2006 11:45 am

Wow, to say the least. Amazing that they would dash off after making an agreement to have dinner from something that is supposed to fill your free time. That is truly sad.

What I find more shocking though, is their complete disregard for their own safety and for those around them. What if, per chance, a child had run out into the street? They would have been going so fast, a life would have been lost, simply to fullfill greed.

Once again, I defend the game. It is not the fault of a piece of software but of those that engross themselves into it in such a way that his sort of behavior was considered the norm or even acceptable once in a while.

While I do not agree that removing any trace of it from your life was necessary, I do believe that if you felt that you were tempted to extremely by this game and you were not having any fun, then it was probably the most logical course of action.

Since I run a WoW guild, I can say, it is always truly a sad day to loose a member and borderline tragic to loose two. But, it is sickening that they would only view you as a means to an end. On behalf of my guild and those like mine, I express my apologies for being treated in such a manner.

It is interesting that something as social and entertaining as MMO's can often times bring out some of the worst in ppl isn't it? I find myself constantly being swore at by children who should be grounded or far worse for their disrespect. Whats even more appauling is when this same attitude is displayed by adults with little to no regard to the other players around them.

MMO's are not new, but perhaps the way we perceive them is still, how should i say, indicative of single player games. I think most ppl need to realize that behind those pixeled NE's and Troll's sits another flesh and blood human being with real feelings, hopes, dreams, etc. Far too often I see others treated as if they are just an NPC or someone to use like you use a ladder.

I cannot stop playing these games, but not cause of addiction but because of the lasting relationships with some truly brilliant, wonderful and giving ppl. To find someone like this, is better than any item the game could ever offer up but it is far too often not friendships and experiences shared ppl seek but acquisition of nontangible properties.

Perhaps gaming companies would do well to release new servers with stricter guide lines in how ppl treat each other. Same may say that is censorship, but is it really when all you are trying to do is to get ppl to treat each other with the dignity and respect they deserve? I could ramble on and on about the bad things but that would accomplish nothing much.

Until then, I will wade through the loot whores, the gankers, the (gags) twinks, and immature players just to meet the few that are decent, honest, fair, and in persuit of a good time by all.

To the origninal poster, I think it is wonderful you reach your epiphany, but sad that it had to come to ill manners, reckless behavior, and sheer stupidity. Good luck to you in whatever you do. Take care.
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Postby desert dwarf on Sun Mar 19, 2006 2:13 am

[quote="lorenfisher"]wow is a horribly designed game. it is crap. especially the endgame. quote]

I'm guessing you have no idea how games are designed, or you are just bitter. WoW has taken several years of games created, and learned from their mistakes. It by far outweighs any other game out there today.
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Postby FarleySC on Sun Mar 19, 2006 8:44 pm

I've played EQ, EQ2, Shadowbane, and AC2 to the endgame portions, and in each case, the endgame never quite had the draw that the grind had (for myself). EQ, however, had WAY more endgame content to choose from. This of course is from years of development and additional content added over the years. Still, endgame is just a term for what keeps you paying the monthly fee after you've reached the max level with one or two different classes. Just their way of keeping you playing. More gear, more zones, more gear etc....
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Postby desert dwarf on Sun Mar 19, 2006 10:13 pm

I understand that Farley, however the statement I quoted was directed at the entire game and not just the endgame. I never played EQ, played EQ2 until WoW came out. Shadowbane and AC2 never really had any endgame to begin with. WoW for me has been very engrossing the whole way. Other than getting faction reputation, there has never been any real grind for me in WoW. I always had a quest to complete or somewhere new to explore through my entire leveling up. From my standpoint, the game design is very well done. Granted it has only been out for 1.25 years roughly, but it seems that the endgame content is coming at a very nice pace. Not so slow that you have high end characters sitting doing nothing. With battlegrounds, there is always something to do, and is probably one of the best pvp adaptations incorporated in any MMO to date (excluding full pvp mmo's).
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Postby reggie on Sun Apr 23, 2006 4:28 pm

Merrick said
I cannot stop playing these games, but not cause of addiction but because of the lasting relationships with some truly brilliant, wonderful and giving ppl. To find someone like this, is better than any item the game could ever offer up


I can understand this sentiment to some degree from how I see and hear members of my other half's guild reacting to each other. Apart from a few problems all in all they get on well and show each other respect. HOWEVER, at the same time as my other half has developed online relationships with gamers he has neglected friends and family in his 'real' 'analog' life, not least me. We have been together for over 20 years and he has always spent a lot of time doing extra work or playing games during the evenings. These days though I feel so cut out and that his new online relationships mean more to him than his long term real life ones..... It really hurts. I don't want to deprive him of his recreational game playing if he could get it down to a more acceptable level within his life. He currently plays over 50 hours a week, so what with work and sleep that leaves precious little time for anything else...... His best friend has even told him how worried he is and that he feels somewhat neglected but even this didn't seem to shock him into analysing his addition and trying to deal with it.
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