A Gamer Addict's View
Posted on Thursday, February 23, 2006 @ 08:22:09 pm C.S.T
This is the story of how I got un-addicted to video games and had a blast while I was at it. I was addicted to computer games, Diablo and Warcraft. I became so obsessed it was all I could think about. If I wasn't playing I was devising strategies in my head. Eventually I could not tear myself away from the screen even to greet family at the door. My wife started referring to herself as a Video Game Widow. My finances were going down the toilet.
The sense of accomplishment I seemed to be getting from winning levels etc. was starting to feel really empty, but still I played. This is when I realized there was another way to create excitement in my life. I realized that I could approach my real life with the same principles as I did with computer games and thus create lasting results and satisfaction. In order to solidify this in my awareness I posted a post-it note on my computer monitor that said this... "I've got another game. It's called Life." Underneath I wrote "Imagine what I could accomplish If I played Life with the same intensity I play these other games!" It lived there for years. I did have a few slips where I'd get caught up playing a game for "just a few minutes"... But I'd purposely look at that post-it note, remember my "New Game" and turn it off without trouble.
Now, the thing about addictive patterns is that if you get rid of one without restructuring your thinking, you'll end up with another addiction to replace it. Things were better for a while, but my troubles didn't stop with the "Quit" command.
Although I was not playing games any longer, my illustration business continually failed to thrive, and my relationship, although slightly improved, was still fraught with confusion, resentment, poor communication, and a general lack of emotional intelligence. The problem was not the game playing. It was me. I was afraid to change, afraid of any discomfort. I was afraid of people's opinions of me, afraid of confrontations (otherwise known as true communication). I was stubborn and refused to release my attachment to the way I thought I should do things. These are not attitudes conducive to success in life. I sank. And it was a long slow insidious sinking at that. I hardly noticed it until it became unbearable.
Sitting up late one night, by myself, flipping through old movies and infomercials, trying to distract myself from ever looming fears of divorce and financial ruin, I came across the famous life trainer, Tony Robbins. Tony was talking about the power of personal development to create real lasting change and the ability to create what you want in life. Tony was offering me a user manual for this new game called Life I was trying to win at. Within 15 minutes of watching Tony's infomercial I knew that his program was exactly what I needed. Since I was so broke and terrified of what my wife would say If I spent the mere $300 purchase price (It's down to $200 today on Tony's website) I asked myself "Who do I know who might have this?" and a friend popped into mind. I called him up and he did indeed have it, and was happy to lend it to me! The program was called Personal Power II. Although this was a 30 day home study course I was experiencing major changes in my confidence level and my internal strength within two days. That was May 2002. Since then I've studied the teachings of Deepak Chopra, Robert Kiyosaki, Brian Tracey, T. Harv Eker, and Mark Joyner. All of these teachers taught me incredible lessons through their seminars, books and audio programs. I've discovered that as long as I'm learning and taking action and growing forward, I'm happy.
Here's the irony. One very powerful principle I learned from playing video games so obsessively is that no matter what the challenge is, persistence and creative thinking will eventually solve it. I used the skills and passions I learned from playing computer games to take real action in my own analog (as opposed to "digital") life, enjoy it even more, and transcend right out of my attachment to them... quitting the computer games themselves! I haven't touched a computer game in any serious way in over three years. I have no desire to. In fact, now I have an aversion to them because my analog life is so much more compelling and exciting and rewarding and I associate computer games with that terrible empty sinking feeling I started to get. My fears and phobias around connecting with people are a tiny fraction of what they used to be. My marriage is the strongest and happiest and most fun it's ever been. My income has more than tripled, and I'm on my way to creating financial freedom. I've created a powerful purpose for my life that carries me into amazing fulfilling work projects. I'm 37 years old and my physical health is better than it's ever been. And guess what. Aside from the fact that there's no point in beating myself up over it, I don't regret my gaming addiction at all because it has led me to a better place in my life than I was even able to imagine only five years ago. It has allowed me to transcend to a new level. I've leveled up.
